Transcript for Mini: The Brief, Bright Teatime of the Heart

EMILY PETERSON
Alright. One, two, th–

[Demo version of Charlie on the MTA plays]

VOICE 1
This is…

VOICE 2
This is…

VOICE 3
This is…

VOICE 4
Greater Boston. 

[Tea shop door opens. Footsteps. Soothing music plays. Tea is stirred. Tea is sipped. A door opens and Gemma and Freed Friend approach.]

GEMMA LINZER-COOLIDGE – [Lydia Anderson]
Tyrell. Hi.

TYRELL FREDERICKS – [Arun Sannuti]

Hi…oh! Dipshit!

FREED FRIEND POLETTI – [James Capobianco]
Hello Tyrell.

GEMMA
It’s Freed now. Freed, uh…Friend. I mentioned I was meeting you, and he asked to come. I hope you don’t mind.

TYRELL
No, it’s…fine? You two talk now?

GEMMA
Not on the regular. But it happens.

FREED
A lot has happened.

TYRELL
Well. Sit down, please. What I need to say is personal, but it involves Freed Friend too, so I guess it’s appropriate that he’s here.

[Chairs, people sit. Tea cups moved]

I need to apologize to you, Gemma. It’s my fault you got fired at ThirdSight.

GEMMA
I thought Freed filed a complaint.

FREED
I did. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.

GEMMA
…yeah…

TYRELL
Yes, Freed filed the complaint. But I wrote the report. And I may have…exaggerated. A bit.

GEMMA
Really? You? Tyrell Frederickson, the boy scout of ThirdSight Media lied in a report?

TYRELL
At the time, I cared very much about Freed’s opinion of me. I felt a deep need for a friend, and I hoped he might be that friend. So I wanted to do something to make his life better, and I thought about how freeing him from you would make his life better, and I thought about how it would make my life better. But…I didn’t think about what it would do to your life. I…I chose not to care. And I’ve been regretting it ever since.

GEMMA
Really? ‘Cause I sure haven’t.

TYRELL
You…haven’t?

GEMMA
Tyrell, I was miserable. I hated working at ThirdSight, but I couldn’t muster the nerve to leave. And whatever your report said, probably wasn’t that big a lie. I wasn’t nice to you. And I was fucking awful to Freed. I me–…he kind of deserved it? Like, I had a lot of really good reasons why he drove me up a wall. But. I was his boss. Our relationship was entirely professional. And I owed him a level of respect *as* his boss. Instead, I took out a whole lot of my own misery out on…(heh) everyone.

I’m not going to say what you did was ethical. Like, if ThirdSight were still around, I could probably go for a wrongful termination suit or whatever. But no bullshit? My life is nothing but better for it. And more important…the lives of everyone around me are better. Because I’m not dragging them all down into my shit with me anymore.

TYRELL
So…eh, you forgive me?

GEMMA
Do you really need me to?

TYRELL
I do. I really need you to. But I understand that you’re not obligated.

GEMMA
I forgive you, Tyrell. And I’m sorry.

TYRELL
Thank you, Gemma. Thank you. And…I forgive you too. Though it hadn’t occurred to me to be mad. Not anymore.

FREED
You also bamboozled me with donuts while you locked all your coworkers in the breakroom so you could enact a criminal heist of ThirdSight property. The Publisher held me personally responsible. I received an especially sternly worded missive via the tube as a result.

TYRELL
Yeah. I feel okay about that though.

GEMMA
What? Really?

FREED
That’s fair, I suppose. You did offer me friendship. And loyalty. And I didn’t appreciate it. I abused it. When I took Gemma’s place in the hierarchy, I took it all. It felt good. But it shouldn’t have. I’m sorry too, Tyrell. Truly.

TYRELL
Thank you, Freed. That means a lot. It really does. But I’m still glad I bamboozled you.

GEMMA
Yeah, me too, and I don’t even know the story yet.

TYRELL
I really think there was something about ThirdSight. Nobody could be their best self there. Except for Michael Tate, for some reason. I don’t know why he was immune.

FREED
He had help.

TYRELL
From who?

GEMMA
Leon Stamatis. That’s a whole other story.

TYRELL
Okay. But I think you know what I mean. Something about that place brought out the worst in all of us.

GEMMA
It did.

FREED
Even my family said so. Th…it worried them. The person I was becoming while I was there.

GEMMA
Well. You know what? Good riddance to TurdSight. For all our sakes.

TYRELL
Yeah. You’re right.

FREED
Agreed.

TYRELL
This is good. I’m glad we did this.

FREED
Me too.

GEMMA
You know what? I am too.

[Pause.]

We don’t have to be friends now, though, do we?

FREED
No, certainly not.

TYRELL
Hardly necessary.

GEMMA
Thank god. In that case, I propose we spend the next…ten minutes or so enjoying a nice…long…awkward….silence while we finish our tea, then head on our way.

[Long awkward silence. Tea is sipped. Cups are placed back on coasters. Tea is sipped again. Swallow. Piano music plays. Cafe chatter]

TYRELL

Although…

FREED
I mean, sure…

TYRELL
I wouldn’t *mind* if we were friends after this.

FREED
It seems the fates keep throwing us together anyway, might as well make the best of it.

TYRELL
It does seem like that, doesn’t it? You know what? Yes, I think we’re all friends now.

FREED
A friendship forged through ThirdSight’s gauntlet of evil omens and defilements!

[Pause.]

GEMMA
[weary sigh, exasperated whisper-growl] Goddammit.

CREDITSAlexander Danner
And we are back! Jeff and I got a little slowed-up while we were working on developing PodTales, which, thank you to everyone who came, you helped make it an amazing experience. But, now our attention is back on scripting Season 4. Eh, which we hope to bring to you later this year. In the meantime, we hope you’ll enjoy the mini-episodes we will be giving you every month uhh until that time.

GreaterBoston is written and produced by Alexander Danner and Jeff Van Dreason with recording and technical assistance from Marck Harmon. 

This episode episode featured performances by:

  • Lydia Anderson as Gemma Linzer-Coolidge
  • Arun Sannuti as Tyrell Fredericks
  • and James Capobianco as Freed Friend Poletti

Charlie on the MTA recorded by Emily Peterson and Dirk Tiede.

Transcripts are available online at greaterbostonshow.com

[Piano outro]

ALEXANDER DANNER
And you did get a really strongly worded missive.

JAMES CAPOBIANCO
Yeah. That’s true.

LYDIA ANDERSON
So stern.

JAMES
I did. I still remember.

LYDIA
No…(shudder noise)

JAMES
Some of the turns of phrase in that strongly worded email …or…sorry. Missive via tube.

LYDIA
(laughter) Outtakes! 

JAMES
(laughter)

ALEXANDER
Yeah, that’s partly why we leave it running. The great outtakes.

JAMES
Yeah. (singing) TURD-SIGHT!

LYDIA
(Laughs) Da da da da da da da. 

 

Content notes:
  • Strong language
  • Discussion of hostile work environments
  • Outpourings of forgiveness
  • Extended periods of awkward silence
  • A single instance of gratuitous Douglas Adams allusion (It’s the title)