Mini-Episode: Cow-Dacon vs. BBQ Jackfruit

[Charlie on the MTA demo music plays]

This is…
This is…
This is…

Greater Boston.

[Charlie on the MTA music fades out].

[Loud buzzing noise, metallic cell door opening and closing, jailhouse ambience]

DIPSHIT — James Capobianco

Are you here to inform me Isaiah Powell has been released?

GEMMA — Lydia Anderson

Unfortunately not.


Then I have nothing further to say to you. You’ve taken my statement. And I will not offer any further information, no matter how relentlessly you torture me in this off-site, non-regulated pain chamber.

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Transcript for Mini-Episode: You’ve Gotta Be Sittin’ Me

[Charlie on the MTA demo version plays]

This is…
This is…
This is…

Greater Boston.

[Charlie on the MTA fades out. Red Line train car fades in].

CHARLOTTE: — Summer Unsinn

So the bottom line is he likes to be Baby-bjorn-worn when he’s not eating, sleeping or taking a bath. It might be hard on the back, but easy on the ears. He had a snack around 4:30 so he shouldn’t be hungry again until 5:45 or 6, depending on how he’s feeling. We’ve been pushing the solids lately and there’s some mashed peas, avocado, lentils, peaches — you can try to give him a couple of those but you make sure he wears a bib. In fact, it might be a good idea to just leave him in his diaper. It’ll be easier to hose him down and PJ him up once he’s done. You might want to stand back after you slip him his plate. He likes to paint more than eat and he’s an abstract expressionist. Jackson Pollock style.

LOUISAJulia Propp

Healthy distance. Got it.

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Transcript for Mini-Episode: With Truck/Without Truck

[Charlie on the MTA demo version]

This is
This is
This is
Greater Boston

[Music fades out]

[Phone ringing. Automated voice: “Please leave your message.”. Beep].

OLIVERMike Linden

Given that this number is at least activated, you have clearly received the cellular device I asked my courier deliver to your secret location. Good! As I wrote in my accompanying letter, it is 100% secure and totally untraceable. I appreciate that you finally reached out to me. I understand why you went into hiding after the Baked…after the debacle, and I think you are wise to remain out of sight for as long as possible. My own current whereabouts will remain obscured for as long as it takes to fashion myself with a new identity and properly distance myself from…our work.

That being said, I do have a task which needs to be completed. And this task can only be completed by you.

Phillip. I need you to take care of Michael. He is still in the apartments above the offices. I am no longer there. In fact, I was never there. As you know. But Michael is. Michael…remains.

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Transcript for Episode 22: Chuck Octagon’s News 7 Wedding Special, Live from Red Line, with Special Guest Andy Wood



Soo…my buddy got married. And…I ended up being the best man by default. And, of course, being the best man, having to make a speech, I decided to get really drunk ahead of time.




Oh, no.


And I asked my girlfriend, and beforehand, I’m like, “what should I do, I’ve never made a speech before,” and she goes, “eh, just ad-lib it.” So I took that to heart and before the wedding went out and bought a Mad Libs book.

Continue reading “Transcript for Episode 22: Chuck Octagon’s News 7 Wedding Special, Live from Red Line, with Special Guest Andy Wood”

Transcript for Episode 21.5: Dan is Just Dan

[Music—Improvisation in D]


Dear Leon,

I said I’d write again when I knew more about the mystery I was pursuing. And for the second time in the last several months, I’m reminded that knowing more comes with a steep price. Finding my answer has quite literally trapped me in a cage. I’ve been allowed to write this letter after begging for permission from my captors. Beyond that, no further communication will be allowed, nor will I be able to return home unless I make an impossible choice.

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Transcript for Episode 21: Liars & Legerdemain


Female Interview 1

Um, I think opening up, really. Actually it doesn’t matter if it’s like friends, or if it’s, umn you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. I think opening up is, like, a big risk.

[Charlie on the MTA plays]

And then also…I think sharing my food is one. Because then, if you like it, then that means like next time I have it, you’re going to ask for another piece, and then I have to be like, “no, I don’t want to share with you, because I shared with you once.”



Previously in Greater Boston.

DIPSHIT POLETTI—James Capobianco

Because my employer has sent me to make sure you agree to have it broadcast live from Red Line.

Continue reading “Transcript for Episode 21: Liars & Legerdemain”

Transcript for 20.5: Dear Leon 3

[Ambient noises and jazz drones and play throughout fade up. Someone handwriting a letter. A typewriter. A computer. The typewriter jumps to a new line, producing a DING noise. Drone music crescendos and then fades quickly. “Drive the Cold Winter Away” fades up].


Dear Leon,

Still no answer to my previous letters. It’s okay, I’m not sure I deserve one. I have been a really bad Ben Affleck lately. Like…(sighs)…like ‘Gigli’ bad.  

Continue reading “Transcript for 20.5: Dear Leon 3”