Greater Boston is looking for an actor to fill a role in our forthcoming third season, with potential for return in future seasons. Actor local to Boston and available for in-person recording preferred, but will consider remote actors, conditional on access to resources adequate to producing processional-quality recording.

Official show recording should take only an hour or two.

Record your audition and send mp3s of one or two takes to info@greaterbostonshow.com by Monday, May 14^th. Please note whether you would be able to perform locally or remotely. If remotely, please record your audition with the equipment and recording space you would use for final recording.

VINCENZO

AGE: 18

GENDER: Male

RACE: White or mixed race

NATIONALITY: American

Vincenzo is a young man living on his own for the first time. He has a somewhat oblivious nature, distractible and easily confused. Yet still capable of working through an effectively sly plan when he puts his mind to it.

SIDES

ARNOLD

Ah, Vincenzo. I think we’ve met, haven’t we? At the office. It’s a lucky thing that you’re here, as I have a letter for George.

VINCENZO

Yeah. I mean…not anymore. That was just a short-term gig while I figure some things out. I mean, I could take him that letter if you want, but I don’t really know when I’ll see him again. I’m a free agent these days. Just waiting for the right opportunity. You know. This is your place, huh? It’s kinda grungy. So, like I said I’m kinda between gigs right now. And, like…funds aren’t flowing, you know?

ARNOLD

I’m confused. Are you trying to mug me?

VINCENZO

Ha, ha, naw, nothing like that. Sorry, I guess I’m not really getting this all out right. I’m just looking for a place to stay.

The Council of Spirits

(Chimes)

CLARK — Jesse Hall

Grounds and Garden Spirit?

MOUSE — Iri Alexander

Present.

CLARK

Mouse present. Family Dynamic Spirit?

PARTICLE PHYSICS — Mischa Stanton

Present

CLARK

Particle Physics present. Political Outreach Spirit?

ANAXIMANDER — Jack Pevyhouse

Present.

CLARK

Anaximander, present. Arts and Expressions Spirit?

23 SKIDOO — Julia Schifini

Present.

CLARK

23 Skidoo present. Domestic Resources Spirit?

FOX FOSSIL — Jake Song

Absent. I’m sitting in by invitation of the Circle of Spirits.

CLARK

Dipshit absent. Deputy Domestic Resources Spirit Fox Fossil sitting in. And Spirit Secretary is present.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Thank you, Clark. And I appreciate all of you joining me for this emergency meeting of the Council of Spirits. As you all know, we are facing an unprecedented family crisis following the incarceration of our dear Dippy.

MOUSE

Ooh, poor Dippy.

ANAXIMANDER

“Poor Dippy” turned himself in. He confessed.

MOUSE

But you don’t think he really…

ANAXIMANDER

I don’t know what to think. You know how he’s been lately. Calling himself Dipshit? Spending all kinds of ridiculous hours at the office…we’ve hardly seen him in months.

MOUSE

Yeah, but…

ANAXIMANDER

I’m glad I never let him on the Political Outreach Committee, I know that much.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Yes, Anaximander, we all agree that Dippy would have been a counterproductive choice for the Political Outreach Committee, but let’s please refrain from casting unproductive aspersions at a family member.

ANAXIMANDER

Yeah, no, no. I know. I’m just…

MOUSE

And you shouldn’t interrupt me.

ANAXIMANDER

You’re right. Mouse, I’m very sorry.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Now, the question of whether Dippy was truly complicit in the actions he’s confessed to is important. And we may face some difficult decisions about his status as an active family member…

FOX FOSSIL

No!

PARTICLE PHYSICS

…*If* the allegations prove to be true. But now’s not the time for that conversation. We simply don’t know enough yet. And we have more immediate concerns to face. Most particularly, questions for our Deputy Domestic Resources Spirit.

FOX FOSSIL

Right. Okay. Chores-wise, we’ve covered the gaps. Fibonacci is taking over Dippy’s cooking shifts, while Terry Marcia is handling his cleaning chores. Dippy’s primary domestic responsibility was income, so the chores aren’t a big deal. The real problem is the lost income. Dippy earned the most generous salary of the family, accounting for roughly twenty percent of household income.

CLARK

Twenty percent decrease in household income. So noted.

FOX FOSSIL

Without that…we’re in trouble. There’s no way around it—we need more family members to to find paid work. And we have to cut costs until we do. Severely. I’m talking complete elimination of budget for both the Arts and Expressions Council and the Political Outreach Council.

ANAXIMANDER

Well that’s just irresponsible!

23 SKIDOO

Look, we know we need to bring in some money. We’re being proactive. Lily has already found part-time work in a bookshop.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Which Lily? Lily of the Valley?

23 SKIDOO

No, Lily of the Field. Lily of the Valley is still in creative seclusion while she finishes welding her new reclaimed iron sculpture.

FOX FOSSIL

Ooo, Dippy loves her reclaimed iron sculptures. That’ll be a nice surprise for when he gets back.

ANAXIMANDER

If he gets back.

FOX FOSSIL

*When* he gets back. Anyway, I’m glad Lily’s found a little income, but part-time retail’s not going to cover a fraction of our grocery bill. Do you know how much we spend each month on organic, non-GMO, fair trade lentils alone?

ANAXIMANDER

I’ll talk to Leroy, he likes those environmentalist street harasser positions. But there’s no way Planet Cosmos will donate their life energies to propping up capitalist overlords in exchange for meager currency. That’s just not going to happen.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Well then Planet Cosmos better find other ways to contribute, or else be prepared to hold their hunger for a few months. Maybe they can partner with the domestic council to increase garden output.

MOUSE

Well, Dieter and Bumbershoot have mentioned that they could use another pair of hands.

CLARK

Planet Cosmos to assist in garden. So noted.

FOX FOSSIL

An increase in homegrown food will help. But again, that’s picking away at the edges of the problem. 23 Skidoo, I’d appreciate it if you could talk to Lily about taking the commission that the Cambridge Parks Service offered her.

23 SKIDOO

Lily of the Valley?

FOX FOSSIL

No, Lily of the Small Urban Community Garden. She was offered a commission to do a mosaic commemorating the Fresh Pond Ice Harvesting industry. She was reluctant to do government art, and Dippy assured her that she didn’t have to. He hated to see her make impersonal art.

ANAXIMANDER

Yeah, he really should have thought about that before he set out on a life of crime.

23 SKIDOO

Lily never even mentioned the commission. I’ll talk to her.

CLARK

Lily of the Small Urban Community Garden to consider Cambridge Parks Commission. So noted.

(Music Fades)

FOX FOSSIL

I have to say something. Look, I know Dippy screwed up. We don’t know how he screwed up or why he screwed up, but he did, and we’re dealing with that. But while we’re worrying over how the loss of his contributions will hurt us, could we please also take a minute to recognize the significance of the contribution he was making in the first place? He wanted to see the Lilies dedicate themselves to their art, and so he worked hard to provide the resources for that. He wanted to see the Political Outreach Council fully dedicate their time to all their good work, *Anaximander,* and so he worked hard to provide the resources for that. All those hours he worked, and every penny of it supported our passions and spirit goals.

He wasn’t even enjoying his job these past months. You must have noticed. All of us had to notice. He used to be so proud, but lately he stopped talking about the office entirely. And not just since the assholes he works with decided to name him “Dipshit.” Even before that. But he put up with all of that *for us*. Let’s not forget that.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

You’re absolutely right, Fox Fossil. Thank you for the reminder. Dippy is family.

MOUSE/23 SKIDOO/CLARK/FOX FOSSIL

And family is love.

ANAXIMANDER

I know. I know. Dippy…Dippy is family. I’m sorry I’m being…  so… It’s just… It’s just…

…

…

I miss him.

MOUSE/23 SKIDOO/FOX FOSSIL/PARTICLE PHYSICS

We know, it’s okay sweetie, but it’s gonna be all better when he gets back. / [General comforting]

CLARK

Emotional concord achieved. So noted by Spirit Secretary. Council of Spirits adjourned.

PARTICLE PHYSICS

Thank you, Clark.

CREDITS

Greater Boston is written and produced by Alexander Danner and Jeff Van Dreason.

We hope you enjoyed this mini-episode! We will continue to release a new mini-episode expanding the story and world of Greater Boston every three weeks until Season 3 is ready to launch.

If you’d like to continue supporting Greater Boston through our season hiatus, you can visit our shop, which features official Greater Boston posters, postcards, and mugs. Find it at http://www.greaterbostonshow.com.

In order of appearance, this episode featured:

• Jesse Hall as Clark
• Iri Alexander as Mouse
• Jake Song as Fox Fossil
• Mischa Stanton as Particle Physics
• Jack Pevyhouse as Anaximander
• Julia Schifini as 23 Skidoo

Jack has asked us to give a special shoutout to his mom and dad, saying “Thank you so much for encouraging me to do what I wanna do!”

And we want to thank all of our guest stars for helping us out with this episode. You can find them in more audio dramas including Tales of Thattown, Jim Robbie and the Wanderers, arsParadoxica, and the drunken folklore podcast Spirits.

Transcripts are posted at GreaterBostonShow.com.

COOKIE

JAKE SONG

Ah, Fox Fossil, uh, Council of Spirits blah blah blah, Non GMO lentils, blalalalalalala

JACK PEVYHOUSE
Because there’s no gold behind our money, guys, hahahaha.

COLD OPEN

Male Interview 1
Man. 36 years, I quit a lot of things. I quit playing football…because I wanted to get a job instead.

Female Interview 1
It looked easy but then when you got to it yourself and you have to sit down by yourself and really think of everything I thought it was super hard?

Male Interview 2
Well, uhh, he was — he was just really impractical. Like, I would be working nonstop and absolutely busting my ass, and then, umm, it would just never be enough and it was pretty crazy at times, honestly. Like…

Male Interview 3
And and and — and it is a good system when you’re working together and and sometimes it’s awesome, you know? You’re banging meals out, everything’s going great, but when things go wrong, they go wrong and if it’s — it’s it’s it’s tough because things get aggressive and they get mean in the restaurant business.

Female Interview 2
I quit high school twice. (laughter). And I…it’s not one of my biggest regrets, because everything worked out okay, but yeah, did I wish I had gone a different route and had been involved in high school and worked my potential? Sure.

Female Interview 1
Because like I could’ve did so great on the project. And my mind just wasn’t functioning like how it should have been?

CHUCK OCTAGON — Jeff Van Dreason
Mmhmm.

Female Interview 1
So like I just gave up too quick. Which was the worst idea. Because usually you should challenge yourself when situations like that happen.

Male Interview 2
I’m a pretty hard worker and to be at my limit and be asked for more, especially when there’s nobody else to help you around or …you know, take a load off here and there, it’s pretty aggravating, especially when you’re getting yelled at and uhh…watched down your neck and when he’s not doing anything.

Female Interview 3
I quit dancing. I don’t really care. That was one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made in my whole life.

Male Interview 3
And it, I know that like..I – I – I knew I wasn’t gonna do that for the rest of my life, but I know people who have been drawn into it and they were always miserable people at work. Like, I’ve never met any head chef or even like line cooks that were…really loved to do their job!

Female Interview 2
I don’t know. It was a lot of pressure for me to go and be around other people and it was easier for me to stay home. It was, I was allowed to stay home and it was easier and I didn’t have to…navigate the teenage years with a bunch of other people.

Male Interview 1
Yeah, I’ve quit a lot of things just because either…I felt like I wasn’t good enough for it, or I just got bored of it.

Female Interview 3
A dancer. Like…not me! I don’t even go up the third floor on these stairs. So.

Female Interview 4
And I felt…I coudl’ve done better because I wasn’t in the right state to try to fix it?

Male Interview 5
I guess you could say just quitting ..umm, I don’t know, just quitting being a kid, I guess you could say. After I became thirteen I just decided to, you know what? I’m going to throw all my toys away, I’m going to just stick to uhh…video games and umm…be around that, just…be around the TV like the…the lonely loner I am. (laughter)
Continue reading “Transcript for Episode 24: Quitters” →

Continue reading “Episode 24: Quitters (Season Finale)” →

COLD OPEN

CHUCK OCTAGON — Jeff Van Dreason
What’s a regret that you have and why?

Female Interview 1

One of my regrets…is sometimes not listening to myself, or my conscience? ‘Cause I tend to do that a lot and then I regret it later. ‘Cause a lot of things that happened since I was little to know, like… ‘oh, I should have listened to myself back then.’

[Charlie on the MTA plays]

Which is…one, is my relationship? Kind–’cause that, kinda brought my downfall last semester? Kinda affects school and what not. But. I felt that sometimes, I just go with the moment, which most of the time don’t really end up well.

Chuck Octagon
Mmm.

Female Interview 1

And that…I did regret.

Continue reading “Transcript for Episode 23: On the Advice of Mary Wollstonecraft” →

We now have a virtual store where you can order mugs, posters, postcards, and more to come! Link in the side bar, or right here!