The Council of Spirits
(Chimes)
CLARK — Jesse Hall
Grounds and Garden Spirit?
MOUSE — Iri Alexander
Present.
CLARK
Mouse present. Family Dynamic Spirit?
PARTICLE PHYSICS — Mischa Stanton
Present
CLARK
Particle Physics present. Political Outreach Spirit?
ANAXIMANDER — Jack Pevyhouse
Present.
CLARK
Anaximander, present. Arts and Expressions Spirit?
23 SKIDOO — Julia Schifini
Present.
CLARK
23 Skidoo present. Domestic Resources Spirit?
FOX FOSSIL — Jake Song
Absent. I’m sitting in by invitation of the Circle of Spirits.
CLARK
Dipshit absent. Deputy Domestic Resources Spirit Fox Fossil sitting in. And Spirit Secretary is present.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Thank you, Clark. And I appreciate all of you joining me for this emergency meeting of the Council of Spirits. As you all know, we are facing an unprecedented family crisis following the incarceration of our dear Dippy.
MOUSE
Ooh, poor Dippy.
ANAXIMANDER
“Poor Dippy” turned himself in. He confessed.
MOUSE
But you don’t think he really…
ANAXIMANDER
I don’t know what to think. You know how he’s been lately. Calling himself Dipshit? Spending all kinds of ridiculous hours at the office…we’ve hardly seen him in months.
MOUSE
Yeah, but…
ANAXIMANDER
I’m glad I never let him on the Political Outreach Committee, I know that much.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Yes, Anaximander, we all agree that Dippy would have been a counterproductive choice for the Political Outreach Committee, but let’s please refrain from casting unproductive aspersions at a family member.
ANAXIMANDER
Yeah, no, no. I know. I’m just…
MOUSE
And you shouldn’t interrupt me.
ANAXIMANDER
You’re right. Mouse, I’m very sorry.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Now, the question of whether Dippy was truly complicit in the actions he’s confessed to is important. And we may face some difficult decisions about his status as an active family member…
FOX FOSSIL
No!
PARTICLE PHYSICS
…*If* the allegations prove to be true. But now’s not the time for that conversation. We simply don’t know enough yet. And we have more immediate concerns to face. Most particularly, questions for our Deputy Domestic Resources Spirit.
FOX FOSSIL
Right. Okay. Chores-wise, we’ve covered the gaps. Fibonacci is taking over Dippy’s cooking shifts, while Terry Marcia is handling his cleaning chores. Dippy’s primary domestic responsibility was income, so the chores aren’t a big deal. The real problem is the lost income. Dippy earned the most generous salary of the family, accounting for roughly twenty percent of household income.
CLARK
Twenty percent decrease in household income. So noted.
FOX FOSSIL
Without that…we’re in trouble. There’s no way around it—we need more family members to to find paid work. And we have to cut costs until we do. Severely. I’m talking complete elimination of budget for both the Arts and Expressions Council and the Political Outreach Council.
ANAXIMANDER
Well that’s just irresponsible!
23 SKIDOO
Look, we know we need to bring in some money. We’re being proactive. Lily has already found part-time work in a bookshop.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Which Lily? Lily of the Valley?
23 SKIDOO
No, Lily of the Field. Lily of the Valley is still in creative seclusion while she finishes welding her new reclaimed iron sculpture.
FOX FOSSIL
Ooo, Dippy loves her reclaimed iron sculptures. That’ll be a nice surprise for when he gets back.
ANAXIMANDER
If he gets back.
FOX FOSSIL
*When* he gets back. Anyway, I’m glad Lily’s found a little income, but part-time retail’s not going to cover a fraction of our grocery bill. Do you know how much we spend each month on organic, non-GMO, fair trade lentils alone?
ANAXIMANDER
I’ll talk to Leroy, he likes those environmentalist street harasser positions. But there’s no way Planet Cosmos will donate their life energies to propping up capitalist overlords in exchange for meager currency. That’s just not going to happen.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Well then Planet Cosmos better find other ways to contribute, or else be prepared to hold their hunger for a few months. Maybe they can partner with the domestic council to increase garden output.
MOUSE
Well, Dieter and Bumbershoot have mentioned that they could use another pair of hands.
CLARK
Planet Cosmos to assist in garden. So noted.
FOX FOSSIL
An increase in homegrown food will help. But again, that’s picking away at the edges of the problem. 23 Skidoo, I’d appreciate it if you could talk to Lily about taking the commission that the Cambridge Parks Service offered her.
23 SKIDOO
Lily of the Valley?
FOX FOSSIL
No, Lily of the Small Urban Community Garden. She was offered a commission to do a mosaic commemorating the Fresh Pond Ice Harvesting industry. She was reluctant to do government art, and Dippy assured her that she didn’t have to. He hated to see her make impersonal art.
ANAXIMANDER
Yeah, he really should have thought about that before he set out on a life of crime.
23 SKIDOO
Lily never even mentioned the commission. I’ll talk to her.
CLARK
Lily of the Small Urban Community Garden to consider Cambridge Parks Commission. So noted.
(Music Fades)
FOX FOSSIL
I have to say something. Look, I know Dippy screwed up. We don’t know how he screwed up or why he screwed up, but he did, and we’re dealing with that. But while we’re worrying over how the loss of his contributions will hurt us, could we please also take a minute to recognize the significance of the contribution he was making in the first place? He wanted to see the Lilies dedicate themselves to their art, and so he worked hard to provide the resources for that. He wanted to see the Political Outreach Council fully dedicate their time to all their good work, *Anaximander,* and so he worked hard to provide the resources for that. All those hours he worked, and every penny of it supported our passions and spirit goals.
He wasn’t even enjoying his job these past months. You must have noticed. All of us had to notice. He used to be so proud, but lately he stopped talking about the office entirely. And not just since the assholes he works with decided to name him “Dipshit.” Even before that. But he put up with all of that *for us*. Let’s not forget that.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
You’re absolutely right, Fox Fossil. Thank you for the reminder. Dippy is family.
MOUSE/23 SKIDOO/CLARK/FOX FOSSIL
And family is love.
ANAXIMANDER
I know. I know. Dippy…Dippy is family. I’m sorry I’m being… so… It’s just… It’s just…
…
…
I miss him.
MOUSE/23 SKIDOO/FOX FOSSIL/PARTICLE PHYSICS
We know, it’s okay sweetie, but it’s gonna be all better when he gets back. / [General comforting]
CLARK
Emotional concord achieved. So noted by Spirit Secretary. Council of Spirits adjourned.
PARTICLE PHYSICS
Thank you, Clark.
CREDITS
Greater Boston is written and produced by Alexander Danner and Jeff Van Dreason.
We hope you enjoyed this mini-episode! We will continue to release a new mini-episode expanding the story and world of Greater Boston every three weeks until Season 3 is ready to launch.
If you’d like to continue supporting Greater Boston through our season hiatus, you can visit our shop, which features official Greater Boston posters, postcards, and mugs. Find it at http://www.greaterbostonshow.com.
In order of appearance, this episode featured:
- Jesse Hall as Clark
- Iri Alexander as Mouse
- Jake Song as Fox Fossil
- Mischa Stanton as Particle Physics
- Jack Pevyhouse as Anaximander
- Julia Schifini as 23 Skidoo
Jack has asked us to give a special shoutout to his mom and dad, saying “Thank you so much for encouraging me to do what I wanna do!”
And we want to thank all of our guest stars for helping us out with this episode. You can find them in more audio dramas including Tales of Thattown, Jim Robbie and the Wanderers, arsParadoxica, and the drunken folklore podcast Spirits.
Transcripts are posted at GreaterBostonShow.com.
COOKIE
JAKE SONG
Ah, Fox Fossil, uh, Council of Spirits blah blah blah, Non GMO lentils, blalalalalalala
JACK PEVYHOUSE
Because there’s no gold behind our money, guys, hahahaha.
