Soo…my buddy got married. And…I ended up being the best man by default. And, of course, being the best man, having to make a speech, I decided to get really drunk ahead of time.
FEMALE INTERVIEW 1
MALE INTERVIEW 2
MALE INTERVIEW 1
And I asked my girlfriend, and beforehand, I’m like, “what should I do, I’ve never made a speech before,” and she goes, “eh, just ad-lib it.” So I took that to heart and before the wedding went out and bought a Mad Libs book.
I said I’d write again when I knew more about the mystery I was pursuing. And for the second time in the last several months, I’m reminded that knowing more comes with a steep price. Finding my answer has quite literally trapped me in a cage. I’ve been allowed to write this letter after begging for permission from my captors. Beyond that, no further communication will be allowed, nor will I be able to return home unless I make an impossible choice.
Um, I think opening up, really. Actually it doesn’t matter if it’s like friends, or if it’s, umn you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. I think opening up is, like, a big risk.
[Charlie on the MTA plays]
And then also…I think sharing my food is one. Because then, if you like it, then that means like next time I have it, you’re going to ask for another piece, and then I have to be like, “no, I don’t want to share with you, because I shared with you once.”
Previously in Greater Boston.
DIPSHIT POLETTI—James Capobianco
Because my employer has sent me to make sure you agree to have it broadcast live from Red Line.
[Ambient noises and jazz drones and play throughout fade up. Someone handwriting a letter. A typewriter. A computer. The typewriter jumps to a new line, producing a DING noise. Drone music crescendos and then fades quickly. “Drive the Cold Winter Away” fades up].
NICA — KELLY MCCABE
Still no answer to my previous letters. It’s okay, I’m not sure I deserve one. I have been a really bad Ben Affleck lately. Like…(sighs)…like ‘Gigli’ bad.