I’m sorry for my long silence. I’m sorry to have sent you such a dismal missive, so full of despair and black discovery. I’m sorry to have left you to worry over my fate these past months, especially after assuring you that I was on my way home. I’m sorry for so much.
Before anything else, I should assure you that I am as well as can be expected. It’s very cold here. And very dark. But that’s normal this time of year. It suits my mood, frankly. I recognize the fallacy of that, of surrounding myself with an environment that compounds my self-flagellation, rather than one that lifts me from it. But it’s not as though I chose this place. It is simply where I find myself. And so I accept it as where I belong for the immediate future.
COLD OPEN CHUCK OCTAGON — Jeff Van Dreason What’s your favorite historical fact or story about Boston history? Male Interview 1 The…Boston Tea Party I think it was? When they dumped the tea in the…in the uhh…ocean? Chuck Octagon Mmhmm.
Male Interview 1 So I like that one. And because why is because they relate it to a game? Assasin’s Creed?
[Charlie on the MTA begins playing]
So I…I they…they like you know kinda made — moderate it, kinda? So I kinda [indistinguishable] I really liked it, so. You know kinda I…I remembered it.
Chuck Octagon Be honest with me. Is the first time you learned about the Boston Tea Party, was it through Assasin’s Creed?
[Ambient noises and jazz drones and play throughout fade up. Someone handwriting a letter. A typewriter. A computer. The typewriter jumps to a new line, producing a ding].
STAY JUICY IN ST JOHN — Ryan Estrada
I have a very strong distaste for raisins, craisins, blaisins, plaisins, cherraisins, banaisins and other such “humiliated fruits,” as they’re called here in Canada. Is it possible that I choked to death on a piece of fruitcake in a former life?