Episode 40: Over, Under, Around, and Through

Episode 40 – Over, Under, Around, and Through

 

COLD OPEN

INTERVIEW 1
I’ve changed so much in the past years, from the pandemic. My life actually got pretty much totally turned upside down in 2020. So now I’m just on the way back from that. I’ve also seen Boston change a lot since I moved here back in 2008. Umm I work in addiction so…seen a big increase in problems with homelessness and addiction in Boston. 

 

[Charlie on the MTA theme begins]

Uhh, I think pretty hopeful actually? Umm. I’ve just seen a lot of positive movements in the area, a lot of grassroots movements, a lot of people wanting to get involved, and wanting to make positive change, and working towards that. So I’m hopeful that we’ll make things better for the people who live here.

PREVIOUSLY-IN

LYDIA ANDERSON
Previously, in Greater Boston.

EMILY BESPIN – Sam Musher
I thought…

NARRATOR – Alexander Danner
Thought…you were coming home to her. 

 

GEMMA – Lydia Anderson
I watched the scene unfold like it’s in slow motion. A thief named Philip West. And he stole something from me and now he’s stealing it back.

ETHAN – Jordan Higgs
They took the ball!

LEON – Braden Lamb
Off we go.

MICHAEL – James Oliva
I can do the funding!

CHUCK – Jeff Van Dreason
The Underground it is!

 

SEASON 4 TITLE SEQUENCE

Braintree
(arlington)
Peabody
Third-Sight Media

Lowell
(alright)
Jamaica Plain
Uhhh…I’ve lived in Lemonster my whole life.
The Underground
Wellesley
(Worcester) 

Hanson
Mattapan Trolley Line
(I can’t say that one without a Boston accent, it’s just impossible)
Guy’s Food Truck
Arlington
Framingham
Newton
Lowell
Red Line

Uhh, I’m from Somerville
Roslindale
Former Headquarters of Filene’s Basement
Worcester
Andover
Now you can tell everybody
Medford 

(laughter)
That this is my truck
Dorchester
This is…

This is…
This is…
Greater Boston

 

[Charlie fades out slowly]

 

Cops & Robbers

 

[Footsteps running, outside city noises]

 

LEON – Braden Lamb

Phil ran to the rendezvous point and waited, trying not to look like someone nervously glancing behind himself whenever he nervously glanced behind himself. 

 

NARRATOR – Alexander Danner

He gripped the paper bag and pretended like he was a street drunk, taking fake sips and wheeling his head from side to side. It was cold but he imagined the alcohol would warm him. 

 

[Paper bag noises]

 

LEON

No. Alcohol may give the feeling of being warmer, but it’s merely illusionary. 

 

NARRATOR

Do you think Phil knows that? Stay out of it. [Narrating]. He thought of Michael Tate, a known alcoholic. How bad could this life be? He’d like to try it for a day. Why not? The absence of responsibility sure beat the form he was employed to enforce. Even if – no, especially if, it was all just a sham. (Beat). Interesting. What’s in the bag? What’s he doing here, exactly?

 

LEON

Wouldn’t you like to know? (Beat) Phil felt good to be above ground. He spent most of his time in between tunnels, fighting crime in the form of being a bodyguard for the few rich fuddy-duddies who could afford Red Line’s spacious new luxury apartments. (pause) His contact had told him she might be a while, depending on how everything went. 

 

NARRATOR

His contact? I can’t see who that is. 

 

LEON

Neither can I.

 

NARRATOR

Frustrating. Interesting choices Phil has made recently. I’ll have to speak to his uncle about that. 

 

LEON

Yes, and given these choices, it seems as though you don’t quite belong here, do you?

 

[Narrator fades as he tries to speak]

 

NARRATOR

I — I still think Phil is in play. I can — I can still make out the words — he slipped — slipped…slipped something – what did he — oh he’s about to look inside —  ?

 

[Pleasant pop sound – almost like a wine cork – indicating NARRATOR is gone]

 

LEON

There. That’s better. 

(Narrating)

Phil tugged off one of his gloves and palmed the crystal ball through the bottom of the bag. (Shift) Oh. That’s who took it. Took me. Again. He opened the bag at the top and slowly reached inside…

 

[Paper bag noises – Orchestration plays]

 

PHIL – Michael Melia

I wonder…I wonder what it feels like….

 

[Leon’s narration grows faint]

 

LEON

 He’d been instructed to wear gloves when he first stole the ball, at his Uncle’s request, and again by his contact. The ball emitted a soft glow. His bare hand reached towards it when — 

 

[Buzzing sound as Leon’s narration fades before popping like a switch is flipped, music shuts off abruptly]

 

GEMMA – Lydia Anderson 

What are you doing?

 

PHIL

Oh, hey. You’re here. 

 

GEMMA

Yeah. 

 

PHIL

Here, uhh. Here you go. 

 

[Paper bag exchanges hands]

 

GEMMA

Thanks. 

 

PHIL

Thank you. For — for believing in me. Or something. These days, I don’t really feel like I’m doing much. You know. Much of anything good. And I know this doesn’t absolve me or whatever. But I’m glad I got to literally undo something I did. And… sorry I took it in the first place. 

 

GEMMA 

You should be. 

(narrating)

Look at this hangdog piece of shit. He actually looks earnest. He also looks rough. Unshaven. Bags under his eyes, police uniform under his jacket is wrinkled.

(Dialogue)

So… do you really feel like you’re a cop?

 

PHIL

Not in the slightest. 

 

GEMMA

Yeah. I never did either. And the weirdest thing about that was, I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Imagine cops who feel right at home being a cop. Would I want to feel that way? Not on your life. But. 

 

PHIL

But – it’d be nice to feel right at home. Wherever that is. 

 

GEMMA

Yeah. 

 

PHIL

So. About uhh — our arrangement. 

 

GEMMA

I’ll put in *some* kind of a good word for you with Louisa. 

 

PHIL

Yeah?

 

GEMMA

I can’t promise it’ll help. And she seems three octaves deep into Opera Man at this point, so there’s that too.

 

PHIL

I know I shouldn’t waste my time. But it’s about more than that. I really don’t like her thinking I’m only the worst version of myself. 

 

GEMMA

Uh-huh. I know what you mean. 

(Narrating)

Phil nods, turns, saunters away. I’ve never noticed how he walks before. Unnaturally stiff. Tense. Like a robot trying to impersonate a cowboy. Like he’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

 

[Slow orchestration returns and fades up slowly]

 

LEON

Phil feels lighter than he has in weeks. Months, maybe. He needs to get back to his shift as a beat cop for the RLPD. He remembers his shoulder radio is turned off. He clicks the receiver on and listens to the dispatcher squawking in his ear like a fast food drive-in employee, something about a vandalized high-end wine and paint shop in a Red Line Big Red. He sighs. Back to the grind.

 

[Dispatch radio comes through narration]

 

NARRATOR

Still in play, then. I think it’s time we check in about our little arrangement, young Mr. West. 

 

Letters to the Underground 1

 

[Harp music throughout, as well as handwriting, fountain pen]

 

PAULINE – Clare Lopez

Dear Editor of the Underground,

 

Boy, that’s a mouthful. Have you ever said that out loud, by any chance? Have you, sir, Editor of the Underground, ever walked into a room and announced yourself in such a fashion? Have you said, “greetings all, it is I, the Editor of the Underground?” Try it sometime and see if it feels natural.

 

In case it wasn’t clear, I am obviously writing in response to a previous letter to the editor from September 13th, which addressed you with the following innocent greeting:

 

“Dear Underground Editor.”

 

If you recall, you ignored most of the content of that letter, and instead launched a bloated, thesaurus-stuffed, all-out attack of vocabulary explaining why your title was not Underground Editor, but rather Editor of the Underground. I believe the content of that letter was not even fit for publication. It was about one of those popular new pizza places that break into your homes. But in any event, I take issue with you publishing this letter, for the sole excuse of using it to admonish someone for the innocuous offense of merely not referencing your title in such a grand fashion. Make better choices. Engage with your readers and viewers with a touch more respect, before you have neither.

 

Sincerely,

The Grand Countess Dame Pauline DeLillo of the Stark Valley Mystery Book Cryptorium 

 

Speakeasy for News

 

[Underground Theme – then Busy office environment – phones, typewriters, copy machines]

 

CHUCK (on phone) – Jeff Van Dreason

Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I don’t think that counts. When I think garden level I think “sub-basement.” You can still see outside, and the vibe I want more is like — a speakeasy, but for news, you know? News that literally explodes. From the Underground! (Pause) Of course not literally. Although it’s not as if that hasn’t happened to me before. Did you see my election day coverage last year? Hey, maybe we could use the tubes. Do you have any properties with tubes? 

 

JAMIE – Rocky Goldman

Can you sign my time card Mr. Octagon?

 

CHUCK

Mr. Octagon?

 

JAMIE (sighs)

Can you sign my time card, Editor of the Underground. 

 

CHUCK

Of course, Penny. 

 

JAMIE

It’s Jamie.  

 

PENNY (passing by) – Gabby Hall

I’m Penny. God, this place…

 

CHUCK

Of course, Jamie.

 

JAMIE

Yeah, thanks. The West files are on your…podium, or …whatever that is.

 

CHUCK

It’s a standing desk. You young people, you’d think you’d be able to break out of the stuffy office norms, but no, you all want boring old desks with swivel office chairs that are bad for your backs and leave you suffering with carpel tunnel. And — oh, hang on.

(Into phone)

Hello, Marvin? Yeah, no, a basement. Something in a basement. What’s going on with Filene’s Basement anyway, that’s been closed for years? It’s a LEGION subsidiary headquarters? They built a high-rise there? Wow, that was fast. We should probably run a story on that. Does the building’s shadow hit the Common? Heard there were rules going on about that. Hang on. 

(To Jamie)

You’re still standing here.

 

JAMIE

I wasn’t done.

 

CHUCK

Well by all means, get done. 

 

JAMIE

You have a call on your podium phone.

 

CHUCK

Standing desk. 

 

JAMIE

You use it as a podium. When you address the troops, as you put it.

 

CHUCK

Excuse me, are you my biographer? I don’t pay you to narrate my actions.

JAMIE
You barely pay me at all.

CHUCK
Nevermind that. Who is on my podiu— OFFICE phone?

 

JAMIE

I don’t know. Penny answered it. 

 

CHUCK

Penny! Who is on the other line?

 

PENNY (distant)

Uhh, he said his name was …Andy? 

 

CHUCK

(Into phone)

Marvin, I gotta run. Get me a list of all the basement properties to rent. Yes, to rent, Marvin, Christ. The day I actually invest in land that’s literally underground will be the day I go to my grave. And make sure it has central air. 

(hangs up)
To Penny)

Is he still on the phone?

 

PENNY

I don’t know, man, it was like ten minutes ago.

 

CHUCK

Well why didn’t you tell me?

 

PENNY

I asked her to.

 

JAMIE

And I tried but you were yammering away about your garden level evil journalism lair so —

 

CHUCK 

It’s not an evil lair and it’s not garden level. And where did I drag my desk? WHAAA!

 

[Chuck slips on papers and falls]

 

CHUCK

What — what are all these files doing here on the floor?

 

NICHOLE – Kristen DiMercurio 

You asked that one intern to put them there after there wasn’t enough room on your podium. 

 

CHUCK

It’s not a podium.

 

NICHOLE

You use it as a podium. 

 

CHUCK

That’s the point of a standing desk. It’s multi-functional. You can stand and do work. And some of that standing work can be a speech. 

 

NICHOLE

To the troops. 

 

CHUCK

Yes. Do you object to my use of Troop, Nichole? Troop. Noun. Slang for soldiers or armed forces. 

 

NICHOLE

This troop is seriously about to go AWOL. This place is a mess and you keep hiring interns. 

 

CHUCK

You don’t “hire” interns so much as ask them to enlist. As a troop! A news troop! And I only did that to deal with all the mess!

 

NICHOLE

Hasn’t it occurred to you that interns are more work, not less? They come here for training, which you don’t have the time to give them right now, especially when you ask them to spread your files around the floor so you can use your ‘news senses’ to help guide which story to tackle next. 

 

CHUCK

Oh, right. That’s why I asked Jamie to do that.

 

PENNY (walking by)

You asked me to do that, not Jamie. 

 

CHUCK

Thanks, Penny. I landed on this file. There we go. That’s my next story. 

(Opens folder, takes out paper)

Plans for a Red Line aquarium. They’re going to fill a train with sea water? That doesn’t seem like a good idea. 

 

NICHOLE

Neither does deciding your journalistic direction by literally falling on files.

 

[File cabinet closes Busy office music and soundscape fades out]

 

(Unhappy Anniversary?)

 

[Reporters scramble to interview Emily – train station environment – the occasional train rumbles by, passenger and red-sident chatter]

 

REPORTER – Lowell Fleming

Mayor Bespin, do you have a second to talk about — 

 

REPORTER 2 – Jordan Kalina

We heard reports you’ve been a victim of a misinformation campaign.

 

EMILY – Sam Musher

Leave me alone you ink-stained vultures. 

 

MICHAEL

Did someone steal something from your husband?

 

REPORTER 2

Was this the Lottery? Are they back?

 

REPORTER

Or was it members of the Wonderland community?  Mayor Bespin – ?

 

REPORTER 2

I have an eyewitness account that your husband was furious. 

 

EMILY

Stop. Say that again. Who was furious?

 

REPORTER 2

Uhh. Your husband?

 

EMILY

My husband was furious. 

 

REPORTER 2

Can I use that on the record? 

 

EMILY

Say it again.

 

REPORTER 2

What?

 

EMILY

Slower. 

 

REPORTER 2

Your husband was — 

 

EMILY

Stop! Stop, stop, stop. Again. Slower. Much slower.

 

REPORTER 2

Your. Husband. Was — 

 

EMILY

Stop! Slower.

 

REPORTER 2
Yyyyoooouuuurrr huuuusbaaand—

 

EMILY

I said slower! You have a mind of a turtle, so speak like one. 

 

REPORTER 2

Ummm. Yyyyoooouur huuuuuusbaaaand— 

 

EMILY

Again.

 

REPORTER 2

Yoooooour huuuuuuuuuusbaaaaand. 

 

EMILY

One more time.

 

REPORTER 2

Yoooooooooooooooooourrr huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusbaaaaaaaaaaa—Mayor Bespin, please?

 

EMILY

SAY IT! Say it and I’ll give you a quote.

 

REPORTER 2

Know what? No thanks, lady, I’ve got plenty to work with here as it is. 

 

MICHAEL – James Oliva

Uh.. I’ll say it. 

 

EMILY

Yes. Yes, please do. 

 

MICHAEL (slow, deliberate) 

Your husband. Ethan Bespin. 

 

EMILY

Yes. He’s my husband. 

 

MICHAEL (slowly)

Your husband. Ethan. Bespin. 

 

EMILY

He is. How does he feel about me?

 

MICHAEL

Your loving, adoring husband. Ethan Bespin?

 

EMILY

Yes. On our anniversary. 

 

MICHAEL

Oh. Uhh. Happy anniversary?

 

EMILY

It’s not. 

 

MICHAEL

Oh. Well. Happy un-anniversary? 

 

EMILY

It’s not happy. 

 

MICHAEL (quiet, overlapping)

(unhappy anniversary?)

 

EMILY (overlapping)

I’ve been such a fool. I thought Ethan wrote me and asked me to put on my wedding dress. I actually believed it was him. I didn’t even question that it wouldn’t be him. Of course it was him. Of course he wanted to see me in my wedding dress. His red line bride. Why wouldn’t he? (Pause) Of course I wanted to believe that he wanted to see me like that. I wanted that so much. But. It wasn’t him. Of course it wasn’t. It wasn’t — 

 

[Pause]

 

MICHAEL

Your husband. Ethan Bespin. 

 

EMILY (snapping out of it)

I’m sorry. Um. What untrustworthy periodical do you represent again?

 

MICHAEL

The Underground. 

 

EMILY

Clunky name, if I’ve ever heard one. 

 

MICHAEL

Uh, thanks. I named it. 

 

EMILY

Yes of course. Why does it sound familiar?

 

MICHAEL

Uhh, well, we’ve done a few stories about your administration. 

 

EMILY

Stirring editorials about how I stripped off all those nasty railroad barnacles and made this city into a desirable destination for successful investors? 

 

MICHAEL

Yeah? In a sense.

 

EMILY

Who would do such a thing?

 

MICHAEL

Well, it’s my job. I’m also part-owner, so I like to say I’m literally invested. 

 

EMILY

No, no, no, I’m talking about me. Who would send me a message telling me to wear my wedding dress? Asking me to meet him on the platform. He — the look in his eyes. He was furious with me. Furious. He didn’t even — he didn’t say — 

 

MICHAEL

Mayor Bespin, uh… can I ask, did someone actually steal something from him?

 

EMILY

I don’t know, possibly. Some trinket, I suppose. He was so concerned about that, he didn’t even notice that I was — that I was standing there. In my wedding dress. On our anniversary. (Pause) When he looked at me, it was like he was thinking …this was all my fault. 

 

MICHAEL

I’m sorry. 

 

EMILY (surprised)

What did you say?

 

MICHAEL

I said I’m sorry. 

 

EMILY

The Underground. Wait. The Underground! You mean the local TV show with that word mangling ignoramus uhh — what’s his name, Clint…Trapezoid? 

 

MICHAEL

No it’s, uh, Chuck Octagon. 

 

EMILY

That’s the man. You work for this Octagon?

 

MICHAEL

More ‘with’ than ‘for,’ but if you asked Chuck he’d probably disagree, (Chuckling) that’s just the way he is. But yeah, we are, um — 

 

EMILY (furious)

Everything I told you is off the record. Do you understand me? EVERYTHING! 

 

MICHAEL

Uh, yeah, okay. Okay… okay.

 

EMILY

You sick little parasite. You diseased little maggot! You tricked me. You wormed your way into your information like a — like — 

 

MICHAEL

Oh. But. Okay. I mean, if you’re not comfortable, Mayor Bespin, you have my word. I won’t print anything. At all.

 

EMILY

Your word! I’ve read your words, 

 

MICHAEL

Oh…

 

EMILY

heard your words. 

 

MICHAEL
Uh…

 

EMILY

They’re poison! 

 

MICHAEL

But—

 

EMILY

You defame me for no reason than because you have some buddies squatting like lowlife scum in an amusement park of all places. Am I wrong? We’ve done our numbers on you. We’ve tracked your movements. We know you’re in cahoots with those terrorists. 

 

MICHAEL

Terrorists? Who are they terrorizing?

 

EMILY

Me, for one! They literally attacked me, tricked me, and they stole from my husband. That’s why you’re here after all, you thick dullard, to report on their deceit and treachery. Not that you’ll bother to do that. And just like they stole from my husband, you stole the words right out of my mouth, no doubt in an attempt to twist them for your own sick nefarious, defaming purposes. 

 

MICHAEL

Yeah. Hey! Umm. Forgive me for bringing this up, but have you ever considered that maybe terrorism goes the other way too? Like …the things you and your administration have done scared so many people. You made the city too expensive to live in, but also made trespassing illegal. So people coming just to go to work feel like outsiders. They literally have to sneak in to do their jobs. And then if arrested, those people are forced to work for free due to the Red Line labor initiative. For a person trying to get by with a family, how can all that not be terrifying?

 

EMILY

And here it is. The Underground agenda. Take the other side because it’s convenient for you and your red Wonder-friends. These people broke the law. They resisted order. They think they can make up the rules because they don’t like the ones that exist. That’s not the way it works! They signed documents, contracts! That makes it so! That means something! 

 

MICHAEL

Sure. A contract. An agreement. 

 

EMILY

Yes. Documented. Confirmed. 

 

MICHAEL

Ah! Like a license. 

 

EMILY

Exactly. 

 

MICHAEL

Like a marriage license. 

 

EMILY

Yes. What?

 

MICHAEL

Oh. Just. I’m sure you signed one. You and your husband. Ethan Bespin. (Pause). These things should mean something. Shouldn’t they? 

 

EMILY (incredulous) 

Get out of my sight. 

 

[Michael walks away. Turns]

 

MICHAEL

I, uhh — well. For what it’s worth, I meant what I said. I won’t print a word. 

 

Letters to the Underground – 2

 

SEAN – Cornelius Mohr

Dear Pompous Chucklehead,

 

I notice you spend a good deal of your reporting time defining words. What the hell show do you think you’re on, Sesame Street? Hey, here’s some letters. FU! Knock it the F off. Try reporting the news, not your fucking ABC’s. 

 

Sincerely,

Sean from Brockton

 

Rold Gold Level of Pretzel

 

[Chiptune / Chaotic office environment]

 

CHUCK (into phone)

Marvin? Marvin! This listing you just sent me can’t possibly be properly zoned. [Front door opens]

 

NICHOLE

Right on queue. There’s my backup.

 

CHUCK (hangs up phone)

Tate! Did you score any good quotes from Bespin?

 

MICHAEL

I talked to her.

 

CHUCK

Good!

 

MICHAEL

But we can’t use any of it. 

 

CHUCK

Bad!

 

LOUISA – Julia Propp

I took a couple of photos when the whole thing went down, though. Michael will be able to write a solid story based on eyewitness accounts. 

 

CHUCK

What’s the point of getting face time with the Mayor if we can’t use any of it?

 

MICHAEL

She stressed it was off the record.

 

CHUCK

Can we massage some of her words so that they’re maybe somewhat a little more on the record?

 

MICHAEL

The Underground has to have integrity if we plan to stand out. 

 

CHUCK (annoyed)

Well, no matter what we publish, Bespin thinks we’re public enemy number one, so I don’t know why we even pretend to tiptoe around her awful administration.

 

MICHAEL

Yeah, I don’t see it as uhh – tiptoeing? Just, just an alternative. Our reporting is based in fact. We’re not a mouthpiece for her, but we’re also not hellbent on taking her down. 

 

LOUISA

We’re not?

 

MICHAEL

I mean –  you know, we report the truth, right? The reason she hates us is because we hold up a mirror to what she does, not because we take advantage of what she says. 

 

CHUCK (still annoyed)

Yes, yes, yes, “integrity.”

 

LOUISA

Speaking of which, this office could use some of that. Structural integrity. 

 

CHUCK

I’m glad you brought that up! I was just on the phone with Marvin Cornwall about securing us new office space. Space that’s literally underground!

 

NICHOLE

That’s not what she’s talking about, Dic…tionary. 

 

LOUISA

Look, I’ll be blunt because I have the least to lose. Chuck, you have great strengths, but managing a newsroom isn’t one of them. This place is chaos and you need support. 

 

CHUCK

That’s preposterous. You’re fired!

 

LOUISA

Okay. Later, all.

 

MICHAEL

Wait! Wait! Louisa. You’re re-hired. You work on my dime after all.

 

CHUCK 

Tate!

 

LOUISA

Thanks, boss. By the way, the meeting with that financial planner is next week and you really need to make sure you go.

 

MICHAEL

It’s on my calendar.

 

LOUISA

No it isn’t.

 

MICHAEL

It’ll …be on my calendar. 

 

LOUISA

I’m putting a reminder on my calendar to remind you to put it on your calendar. 

 

CHUCK

This is touching and all, but I have a newsroom to manage. 

 

NICHOLE

To mismanage, you mean. I agree with LA, Chuck, you’re a fine newsman, but you suck as a managing editor. Who do you guys have in mind to help out?

 

MICHAEL

Well — ?

 

[Door opens – Poletti’s theme plays]

 

FREED FRIEND – James Capobianco 

I know you told me to wait outside, but I require immediate shelter. The SPF level on my sunscreen was far too low for the amount of radiation my skin is currently absorbing. 

 

CHUCK

You. Wait. HIM? This guy?

 

MICHAEL

He has experience!

 

CHUCK

You know he blackmailed me, right?

 

LOUISA

We caught wind of that, yeah.

 

FREED FRIEND

Oh. You hadn’t informed him yet? Sorry!

 

CHUCK

Isn’t your name Dumb Fuck or something?

 

FREED FRIEND

Freed Friend. 

 

CHUCK

What?

 

MICHAEL

Freed Friend. His name is Freed Friend. 

 

LOUISA

But he used to be Dipshit  — 

 

DIPSHIT

And before that it was Extinction Event. 

 

MICHAEL

And before that it was Panda Bear. 

 

FREED

Don’t forget Earth Man!

 

NICHOLE

Wow. 

 

CHUCK

This guy is going to come in and run our shop? He can’t even decide his own goddamn name!

 

MICHAEL

Uhh, counterpoint? Not only has he decided about his name, he has decided several times. 

 

CHUCK

Tate, I swear to god, that logic is Rold Gold level of pretzel. Let me ask you this, Double F. I’ve been thinking about changing my name. Legally and professionally, in honor of my husband, Andy Wood. I think Charles Wood has a nice ring to it. What do you think? Should I change it?

 

FREED

Absolutely not. Your name is part of your brand, and a winning aspect of the Underground’s market value as an extension. And although it is unique to the point of bordering on the ridiculous, it is also absolutely unforgettable. 

 

CHUCK

Yeah. Unforgettable. Kinda like you. (Pause) Okay, tell me one reason we should hire you?

 

FREED

Because I can say no, and you can’t. 

 

CHUCK

What’s that supposed to mean?

 

FREED

You’re a people-pleaser. You love saying yes, taking on new challenges, even though you’re never completely aware of what the cost will be, of what you’re up against. You’re an admirable optimist in that regard, but when difficulties arise out of that optimism, you focus on the next task, the next yes, so you don’t have to deal with the consequences. I will say no when needed. 

 

CHUCK

This feels like a trap. If I say yes, I prove you right. But — 

 

FREED

But?

 

CHUCK

But. (Pause). Yes. You’re in. It’s Tate’s dime after all. I’m still head editor and co-owner though, so French Fried works for me even though he’s managing the office. Deal?

 

NICHOLE

It’s Freed Friend. Say it right.

 

CHUCK

Touchy!

 

NICHOLE

Yeah, well after months of being called Fake Somebody and years of being compared to the Fonz, that’ll happen. 

 

CHUCK

Oh, Tate. Before you go. Figured you might want this info. It’s from a contact who says she may know something about Oliver West. Very vague, but since you asked about it, I figured I’d let you have it.

 

MICHAEL

Hmm. Providence. Thanks. I’ll follow up. 

 

LOUISA

Want some company?

 

MICHAEL

Sure.

 

LOUISA

I’ll put it on our calendar! 

 

FREED

Michael. Louisa. Thank you for bringing me into the fold.

 

LOUISA

Well, see if you still want to thank us after you work here a week, Freed. 

 

[Fadeout]

 

INTERVIEW SEQUENCE – Int. – If you had to write a letter to an editor – what would it be about? What issue would you be addressing?

JEFF VAN DREASON
First of all, have you ever written a letter to an editor for a newspaper or magazine?

INTERVIEW 1
Uh, no, no I’ve never written a letter to the editor.

JEFF VAN DREASON
If you had to write one, or wanted to write one, what do you think it would be about?

INTERVIEW 2
To bring more collaboration. And umm more understanding? Especially into the education aspect in umm the city of Boston.

INTERVIEW 3
I would say how much high schools are separated from such great higher education institutions in Boston.

INTERVIEW 4
Yes, but I had to? So there’s an asterisk there? It was, it was for a class assignment?

INTERVIEW 5
Yes. 

 

JEFF VAN DRESON
Would you, do you mind if I ask what it was about?

INTERVIEW 5

It was in high school. So no.

JEFF VAN DREASON
Even better.

INTERVIEW 5
Probably …probably about legalizing marijunaa.

JEFF VAN DREASON (laughing)
That counts!

INTERVIEW 6

I occasionally write pitch emails for Fanbite.com when I’m high and it’s late and I have a deranged video game opinion?

INTERVIEW 7
There was like a historical fiction book published a while back that just directly stole stuff from Legend of Zelda wikipedia article entires? And I think that could get me to do it.

INTERVIEW 4
I didn’t, I was like 14, so I didn’t even drive but I wrote a letter to the editor complaining about how difficult this one traffic circle was.

INTERVIEW 6
I – I – I pitched them a piece on Mr. Peanut? None of them get accepted.

INTERVIEW 7
Where if I’m just reading, ‘Oh this is a historical fiction novel,’ and then it’s like, ‘In the Kingdom of Hyrule.’ And I’m like, whoa! Whoa, bud! No, no, no, no, no! That could get me to do it.

INTERVIEW 6
Uhh, my pitch was that it’s been a year since Mr. Peanut died, what the fuck has happened? Mr. Peanut grew up into an adult again? I got really mad at Mr. Peanut over 2020-2021.

INTERVIEW 4

And they published it…and I felt amused and vaguely horrified because I talked about how hard it was to drive and the first question I got was, how would you know?

INTERVIEW 6
And then he was baby peanut, and then there was a teen Mr. Peanut, and then they very quietly – oh yeah, hew ent through phases of life, he went through puberty!

INTERVIEW 4
Yeah, but I’m also very good at complaining so I came up with something. 

 

SCRYING

 

GEMMA

(Into phone)

You brought in Freed? 

(Pause)

Sure. Well how did Chuck react? 

(Pause) 

Priceless. Listen, I need to run, but uhh — have you thought anymore about meeting Phil? 

(Pause)

Okay, okay, just — I think he has some information that could help Wonderland. I know, I know, he’s a piece of shit, but he helped me with something recently. I don’t trust him either but, you know, bring Michael. Hell, I’d come with you to make sure there was nothing funny going on. I just wanted to say I think he’s trying to grow a conscience. Okay. Yeah, just think about it. And …when you see Charlotte next time? 

(Pause)

Thanks. And tickle Monty’s chin for me. Yeah. Bye, Lou.

(Pause)

Just you and me now, ball. Just you and me. 

(Wrinkle of the paper bag, Gemma narrates)

I can feel it. In my hand, through the bag. I mean, jeez, listen to me, of course I can. It’s weighty. It’s crystal. It feels like a candlepin bowling ball. But there’s something else too. A certain kind of warmth radiating into my hand through the paper. A kind of comfort I haven’t felt since — that day in Red Line. There was a light then. A sense of clarity, cutting through all the chaos. Helping me to  stand up and talk to strangers, tell them what to do. I got a lot of that from Charlotte, honestly. But it made me feel like I was capable of more, that day, when dickbag Phil stole this from me. This stupid thing I used to fantasize about destroying. 

 

[Lloyd Rogers music slowly builds]

 

LEON

I — I’ve lost my sense of place. I’m still tethered to thousands, millions of thoughts, too many to process right now. But I’m also…floating. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know who I’m with.

 

[Paper bag sounds, rolling ball]

 

GEMMA

I shift the bag into my left hand and begin to tip it, letting the ball roll into my right. I prepare myself, wondering what it’ll feel like. Wondering what I’ll see. 

 

LEON

There’s a calming quiet I haven’t felt in a long time. I think back to when I was dead, a thought so strange I can barely force myself to think it in coherent fashion. I was alive. Then I wasn’t. And then I was something else. And in those early stages of being something else, there was no knowledge of what I was, so there was no knowledge of what I could do. An infant ghost, too used to being human to understand what a spirit is capable of. Like an infant, growth and learning happens at a rapid pace. 

 

GEMMA

That vision I saw, the day I was fired. Of me. Charlotte. Monty. Together and happy. I want to see that again so badly. I need to feel connected to them. Right now. I don’t care if it’s a memory. I don’t care if it’s the future. I need to acknowledge that this feeling has existed, can potentially exist again.

 

LEON

I’m thinking of a cover letter I once wrote, days before I died. It felt so good to write it. I felt so assured, knowing what I was. How this job fit me. How my qualities were a good match, even in the ways that didn’t make sense. I considered how unfit I was for a position editing astrology magazines, which is frankly a generous term for ThirdSight Media’s turgid publications, and found qualities within myself that made me reconsider. Because I don’t believe in superstitious nonsense, I would be the perfect choice to edit superstitious nonsense. The brush of confidence I felt in that. To know oneself so thoroughly.

 

GEMMA

Time slows down as the ball slips out, suspended in air. Between my hand and the brown bag it’s emerging from. 

 

[Drums and upbeat Lloyd Rogers music]

 

LEON

And yet my confidence led to this, an existence defined by that which I desperately desired to rewrite. I have become what I longed to edit. 

 

[Drums cut, music continues]

 

GEMMA

I think for a second of letting it go. Letting it fall to the ground. Not because I want it to break. Not anymore. 

 

[Drums kick back in]

 

LEON

Ever since I heard those first words, clear as my own thoughts. I thought it was my mind, grappling itself to dream-logic sentences in a feeble attempt to cling to life. The comfort of a firm decision made. 

 

[Drums cut out again, music continues]

 

GEMMA

More because I’m so sure it wouldn’t break. I’m so sure it can’t. 

 

[Drums cut]

 

LEON

But then, no. They weren’t my thoughts. They were in someone else’s voice. 

 

[Drums cut]

 

GEMMA

Not unless I wanted it to. 

 

[Music stops, drums continue]

 

LEON

They were in…your voice, Gemma. 

 

GEMMA

But then I’m panicked. Not wanting to risk it.

 

LEON

Well, she thought. 

 

GEMMA

Without thinking, I reach out, palming the ball in midair so hard it stings. 

 

LEON

There’s one decision made at least. 

 

GEMMA

And?

 

LEON

And…

 

(Pause)

 

[Drums slow down to a slow-mo halt]

 

GEMMA

Nothing. 

(Pause)

Nothing. How can it be nothing? How — how can you not show me anything? I need — I need this to be worth a damn! I need it to be — I’ve wanted you back so badly. Like a chunk of my entire identity has just been severed and lost and I finally get you back and there’s just — silence? You’ve got nothing to say to me? You absorb the energy of other people like a goddamn body snatcher, but me, you’re useless as a rock? Don’t you understand. I haven’t felt like myself in such a long time. I haven’t felt right in — 

(Pause)

Years. 

(Chuckles through tears – stops narrating, speaks out loud)

You …stupid fucking ball. You know, the day I was fired was the first good day in a string of terrible ones. And I thought it was all because of you. I thought you…brought something out in me. And then you were gone and I was so desperate for you to be back because I convinced myself that if you weren’t here, I wasn’t either. And now — now that you’re back. I realize that it wasn’t you that I needed. It wasn’t you I was fucking looking for. You’re a goddamn glob of cheap crystal. And I am so much more than that. 

 

LEON (Crystal Ball voice)

Hello, Gemma.

 

GEMMA

SHIT!

 

LEON

Please, try not to drop me. The sensation gives me migraines. 

 

GEMMA

Uhh. Sure thing, “voice?”

 

LEON

Leon. Leon Stamatis. 

 

GEMMA

Right. Leon.

(Chuckles)

Even though I knew this was coming. I can hardly believe you’re really here. 

 

LEON

I imagine you have questions. 

 

GEMMA

A fair amount. But for now, just one. Can you show me what you showed me that day I quit ThirdSight? That — image of me and Charlotte and Monty? That feeling I used to get, whenever I held you. Just like now. Like being alone in your thoughts and just…actually loving what you’re thinking for once. Or not minding it, for once. Just letting yourself go. Letting yourself out without judgment for once. 

 

LEON

I’m sorry, I cannot. 

 

[Pause]

 

GEMMA

Sure. Sure, right, no, of course. 

 

LEON

But — 

 

GEMMA

But I can. (Pause) I can!

 

[A pleasant noise – soft and glowing]

 

LEON

You can. It’s called Scrying, I believe. 

 

(A warmer glow emits from the ball)

 

GEMMA (getting choked up)

I wonder — if that’s — if that’s just a coincidence. 

 

LEON

Coincidental to what?

 

GEMMA (sniffs back tears)

Oh god, Charlotte. Monty! I miss you both so much. 

 

LEON

Oh. Right. I imagine like many great things, the similarity is indeed coincidental. 

 

[Longer, building orchestration by Lloyd Rodgers kicks in]

 

GEMMA (sniffing back tears)

You know what I was thinking the other day? Just …sleeping. Next to them. Knowing their bodies are there. Tossing and turning. Adjusting the pillow. The type of thing I never thought I’d miss. They’re dreaming peacefully, blissfully far away in some mental fabrication. Being so close to someone and not close to them at the same time. The comfort in that. The mutual trust. It’s all so useless until you don’t have it. Until it’s gone. 

 

LEON

You could go back to them at any time. 

 

GEMMA

No. Not yet. I have work to do. (Pause) I have work to do and I need your help. Will you help me? 

 

LEON

Probably. Yes. Yes, this is a good feeling, being back with the person who was meant to carry me. But I’m going to ask for something in return. 

 

GEMMA

You’re a spirit in a ball. What could I possibly give you?

 

LEON

I want you to help me reunite my family, my siblings. And then, I want you to allow them to set me free. Allow them to break this ball and let me find peace. Final, quiet, peace. Can you do that Gemma?

(Pause)

Gemma?

 

GEMMA

Sure. I think so. But not until you help me with Red Line. Deal?

 

LEON

Yes. I believe it is. 

 

[Music builds and plays throughout the credits.]


COOKIE
JAMES OLIVA
So anyway, uhh I also wanted to say uhh a little something about uh corn? It’s uh  a big lump with knobs. And it has the juice. Yeah, it has the juice. And I can’t imagine a more wonderful thing. Yeah, it’s corn. I can uhh…I can tell you all about it. So.