Episode 49: Token, Tower, Doll, and Document

Chuck Octagon—Jeff Van Dreason

Do you have a specific memory or series of memories you think of often? What is it about them that makes you think of them? 

 

Interview 1

For a long time, I did hospital accompaniment for the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. So I would show up to the hospital just to support any survivor there when they were getting a forensic kit done. 

 

And I remember there was this one particular case, pretty early on, where this was this woman who just had—she had so much going on, even outside the—what had happened and what she was going through—so many issues—and I neded up being there for something like seven hours because she was—she was just having a lot of trouble getting through everything. 

 

And I remember feeling at the end, you know, it’s just—getting ready to leave that I just felt, like, “What did I just do here?” I didn’t do anything. I didn’t help this person. 

 

[“Charlie on the MBTA” starts playing.]

 

I felt kind of useless, but right before I left, she said—I was giving my little leaving speech, and she came over and gave me this huge hug, and she said, “Thank you so much. You have no idea what it meant to me that you are here.” 

 

And so I think of that. 

 

I think I come back to that a lot because, just, first of all, just, like, not knowing your own impact sometimes—that reminder that we all do a lot more than we think. 

 

And also, just, whenever I screw something up, I have that memory of, like, “Well, you got that one right. That was the one thing you always got right.” 

 

Previously in Greater Boston 

Bernie—Josh Rubino

Louisa Alvarez, just a letter here for you. 

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

But Wendell needs to know so badly that he goes behind my back to ask you.

 

Michael Tate—James Oliva

It’s preventing a relationship you know you really care about to move forward. 

 

Gemma Linzer-Coolidge—Lydia Anderson 

It’s like he’s connected to too many lives, too many thoughts. 

 

Dimitri Stamatis—James Johnston 

Except to me. Except to Nica. Thanks to you. 

 

Charlie on the MTA—Eric Molinsky

Hey, pal, can you spare a nickel? You think you can bring me a sandwich? 

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

Another shore awaits my priceless gifts. I’ll take New York on Legion’s dime. 

 

Oliver West—Mike Linden

You’re leaving? You can’t leave! 

 

Interview Montage

 

Chuck Octagon—Jeff Van Dreason

Do you have a specific memory or series of memories you think of often? What is it about them that makes you think of them? 

 

Interview 2

I will say my childhood, actually—I had an amazing childhood.

 

Interview 3

The first movie I ever remember seeing. My brother showed to me, when I was four years old, and it is the film Child’s Play, the origin for Chuckie, the murdering doll, who, you know, comes to life and torments this little boy. 

 

Interview 4

I think so much to going to PodCon in 2017 and 2019. 

 

Interview 5

Absence of articulation, clear articulation, because English is my second language. 

 

Interview 6

I was, like, eight, and my parents had brought us to the beach, and I was sitting there making dribble castles. You take, like, wet sand, and you just kind of let it fall off of your fingers, and it makes these really cool little, like, droplet shapes and it dries, like, pretty instantly. So you have these really cool, like, gloopy-looking castles and you can get huge, you know, for an eight year old, towers. 

 

Interview 2

Being with the family. That’s something I always replay of, like, spending time and laughing and enjoying it and stuff, and, so, like, now that we’re all older and stuff and moved away, it’s like, I don’t get that as much as I used to. 

 

Interview 3

Of course, my brother was like, “I’m going to show this movie to my younger sibling and I’m just—I’m just gonna scare the shit out of them”, and it didn’t work. I’m not—I wasn’t afraid of the movie at four; I’m still not. It did kick-start my love for horror movies, so joke’s—joke’s on you, Jonathan. You failed. 

 

Interview 6

And it looks so strange and foreign because it’s just, like, gravity and sand doing the work. Like, it’s not any real architecture. 

 

Interview 5

Oh my god, I should have used this word, they will understand me better, or I didn’t have to spend this much time on it. 

 

Interview 7

I think a lot about the births of my nieces and nephews. My oldest nephew is, like, twenty-three, and I don’t feel like we’re that far apart. Like, I literally looked at him the other day and was like, “you’re such a handsome young man, I still look like this, I still look this good.” I was like, “you’ve gotten so much older, and I look like this.” The Lord is good.

 

Interview 4

Meeting so many of the colleagues that I kind of built up making podcasts over some years was really one of the highlights of my career making podcasts. And I think so much about that—there won’t be another.

 

Interview 6

I was, like, sitting there and I was just like, I had the thought while I was making it, like, “This is it. For the rest of my life, I just want to do stuff like this. I want to make stuff.” 

 

Bunt

 

[Louisa puts down the letter and brings out her phone.]

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

God damn you, Tate.

 

Michael Tate—James Oliva [over phone]

Let me guess. You finally read it?

 

Louisa

[Pause. Tearful laughter.] Yeah. Yeah, I finally opened it. 

 

Michael

Sorry about that.

 

Louisa

What are you sorry about? It was beautiful, and you’re right, of course, and—

 

Michael

I’m an apolo-holic. What can I say? Better than booze. 

 

Louisa

Say anything but sorry. I have to say I’m sorry. I am the sorry one! And I did. I wrote this whole thing out and sent it because I needed to get my thoughts in order, but then I remembered your letter, and even though I clearly was pushing you away the other day? I needed you. I needed my best friend. So after sending my letter, I read yours. And then I realized I needed to apologize with more… urgency. 

 

[Weird knocking noise.]

 

Bernie—Josh Rubino [through phone]

Mr. Tate, I presume! 

 

Michael

Oh, uh. One sec. Someone is standing outside the Roquefort. 

 

Bernie 

Hello there, Mr. Tate. Don’t mean to be disturbing the cheese, hehe. But, uhh, I gotta letter here for ya!

 

Michael

Do I know you?

 

Bernie

No, but I sure know you. Delivered your letters all over town. Quite the story you had, from what I picked up. Yessir, quite the pickle. 

 

Michael

Oh. Uhh?

 

Louisa [quietly]

The hell?

 

Michael

You read my mail?

 

Bernie

Oh, no, of course not, I would never—I wouldn’t violate the—the sacred—no! No, no, not me, not Bernie. No, I had other people read it. 

 

Michael

You had other people… read my mail… to you?

 

Bernie

They were—they were the people I was delivering to! They read it to me out loud and—

 

Michael

So like—all the letters I sent… as I was dying at ThirdSight Media—you delivered them all? And heard all of them?

 

Bernie

Yep!

 

Michael

So, like, Louisa Alvarez, for example. 

 

Louisa

Michael, I would never! 

 

Bernie

Oh. No. Not her. No. There were a few folks who said no. 

 

Michael

So you asked? If you could hear them read my mail?

 

Bernie

Uhh? Some—well. I—? Uhh? Sometimes I didn’t ask. But then I started getting curious, you see, the more I heard. It’s not like I said “read this to me” at first—but some of them just did! And I stuck around, and the more I stuck around, the more curious I got. Those letters really moved people. Most people. Hard to move Wanda, I suppose. 

 

Louisa

What is going on?

 

Bernie

ANYway—I got this letter for you, and by no means do I want to hear it. No sir, not a word. Here you go! 

 

Michael

Louisa Alvarez. 

 

Louisa

What?

 

Michael

That’s who it’s from.

 

Louisa

WHAT?

 

Michael

Michael Tate. Cheese Roquefort number 4. Wonderland. Revere, MA. 

 

Louisa

I just mailed that like a few hours ago. That’s impossible! I didn’t even think it would make it because that can’t be a real address. 

 

Michael

Do you want me to read it?

 

Bernie

Uhh—I guess I should be going, right?

 

Louisa

No!

 

Michael

No?

 

Bernie

Oh! Okay. I’ll stay if you’re sure?

 

Louisa

I can’t stand hearing you read what I wrote. Total cringe. I’ll just say it. But keep Postal Pete there; I have some questions for him. 

 

Michael

She wants you to stay. 

 

Bernie

Who?

 

Michael

Louisa.

 

Bernie

Oh. Oh! So she called you and wrote a letter? Does she want to hear you read it?

 

Michael and Louisa

No!

 

Louisa

I just want to know what’s up with your supersonic mailman powers.

 

Michael

She just wants to know what’s up with your supersonic mailman powers. 

 

Bernie

Uhh. Speaking of that—Need to get moving if I’m gonna deliver the rest of this bag before sunset. Bye, now!

 

Michael

Wait! Wa—he—he’s gone. He was the fastest mail carrier I ever saw.

 

Louisa

What the hell?

 

Michael

Like, he damn near teleported. We should write a story on him. 

 

Louisa

Okay, well, that was weird, but anyway, let me just apologize over the phone, and then you can decide to read that later, or burn it, or use it as a coaster, I don’t know.

 

Michael

Louisa, I would never use your mail as a coaster. 

 

Louisa

I—am sorry. I was truly acting like a selfish a-hole and—it was my own shit that I never processed, that’s why. I don’t like talking about my family because…o kay, so growing up?  Growing up I had this doll. I think it was supposed to be a rabbit, but one of his ears got cut off at some point, so I thought of him more like a dog with a ponytail. 

 

Michael

A pony-pup.

 

Louisa

I called him Bunt. Don’t laugh! That was just a little kid name. He was, like, my security stuffy. When I could feel the coldness between my parents settle in, like an invisible glacier slide into place? I would go to my room, read a book, and cuddle with Bunt. He made me feel better. It’s easy to love someone when they’re not real, when they don’t have a choice. They receive so much love from you that you fill in the blanks until you feel that love reflected back. 

 

As I got older my parents kinda pressed me to get rid of Bunt. So I told them I would. I told them I did. But I hid him. Under my bed. In the bottom of my hamper. Shoved into the corners of my closet. And—and as I grew up I started taking things out on him. When I could feel that glacier between my parents? Just sensed it? I’d throw Bunt. Punch him. Knock him against the walls. 

 

There was never any concrete conflict. No big fight. Just this ever-present anger. Sadness. And sometimes it would slip out. The masks would fall and there’d be this flare up of temper. A volcano eruption would melt the glacier, leaving a hazy cloud of steam you couldn’t see through. But it was all so brief it didn’t feel real.

 

So I’d cuddle with Bunt in secret. And out of nowhere throw him against the wall. Stomp on him. Rip some of his stuffing out. But then go back to cuddling. I don’t know why I did this. I didn’t think much of it. It was just a stuffed animal. But one day my parents found out I still had Bunt. I didn’t get in trouble but they asked me why I lied. I shrugged. They said nothing. And I threw him out. And that was that. 

 

Except that wasn’t that. I didn’t even think about it until this morning, but I probably picked up a lot of how they were acting. And I acted that way too. Act. That way. Too. I avoid conflict and just… let things build up sometimes until I get so angry I can’t stand it and I don’t know what I’m saying. I got scared, Michael. About a few things. About repeating the same mistakes they did. And I saw you as someone who was trying to talk me into conflict, which wasn’t even true. 

 

[Pause.]

 

I’ve never had a best friend. I always thought that was like… a default of mine. But it’s the same reason I’ve always struggled with any kind of intimacy. I… don’t let people get that close. Because once that happens, not only can I get hurt? I’m afraid I will treat them the way my parents treated each other. And I can’t stand that thought. And especially now that I see the same patterns of behavior in me that I saw in them? I’m scared shitless even more! I can’t throw you out like Bunt. Not if I’m a good friend. And I can’t do that with Wendell either. And that doesn’t excuse anything I did or said. I’m just trying to explain myself while thanking you so much for… well? Hopefully forgiving me. But either way. I love you. So much.

 

Michael

Okay. First of all, I love you too. Second of all, thank you for opening up to me, I know that was hard.  But I need to tell you something. My father was an alcoholic. My brother was an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic. But I am not drinking. And I’m not going to drink. Because I recognize those patterns for what they are and I’m actively fighting against them. And you can too. I know you can. Because I believe in you. You don’t need a Bunt. You’ve got this. You’re the strongest person I ever met. But also I am with you and I always will be. Even when you throw me across the room, stomp on me, or stuff me in the trash. 

 

Louisa 

[Sighs.] God damn it, why are you so good?

 

Michael

Oh, it’s because I work out. At the Good Gym. You walk in and just practice advice, train up on handing out compliments, life lessons.

 

Louisa

Shut up.

 

Michael

Do you even nice, bro? 

 

Louisa

Stop. Okay. Now there’s a few people I need to check in with. 

 

Michael

Wendell?

 

Louisa

Yes. I’m dreading that call because it’s going to be ugly. But before I call him? I think I need to call my parents.

 

Michael

How long has it been?

 

Louisa

Uhh? Let’s just say they still think I’m a wedding photographer. 

 

A FORGOTTEN SONG

 

[Jail environment noises. Red Line train rumbling. A loud buzzer. A sliding door. Nica walks over and slumps into a chair, picks up a telephone.]

 

Nica Stamatis—Kelly McCabe

What are you doing here? Come to gloat?

 

Gemma Linzer-Coolidge—Lydia Anderson

No. I know you’ve had a lot of visitors lately.

 

Nica

Sure. Michael. Louisa. Dimitri. All came to say goodbye. 

 

Gemma

Is that what you want?

 

Nica

It’s not like I really have a choice, do I?

 

Gemma

It’s so weird. 

 

Nica

What is?

 

Gemma

The window. I can see a trace of my own reflection. It’s, like… superimposed over your face. 

 

Nica

Oh, right. I noticed that the first time my brother came to visit. I got used to it, I guess. What are you doing here?

 

Gemma [quietly]

I… I owed you a visit. 

 

Nica

Thanks, I guess, but you’re not exactly on the top of my visitation list. 

 

Gemma [quietly]

Not from me.

 

Nica

What?

 

Gemma

The visit isn’t from me. 

 

Nica

Did—did something happen to Dimitri?

 

Gemma

No. He’s fine. Sorry, I’m not—I didn’t have a game plan for this. I walked for a long time. Above ground. Through Red Line. Through it all, I kept coming back to the same conclusion. I had to come here and tell you. I had to— 

 

Nica

Tell me what? [Pause.] Are you, like, trying to apologize or something? 

 

Gemma

Or something. Back when I first found out about what you were doing with Emily, I was angry at you. I couldn’t forget the moment I held on to my baby as a Red Line train we were on crashed into a tank of hot molasses, or the moment my wife and child were almost scalded by hot baked beans, or the moment I heard my best friend was nearly blinded by tea. I mean, do you hear that? That this is how tragedy happens? I am still angry with you about that. But that wasn’t all of it. Do you know why I think I was really angry? That day Louisa introduced you to me?

 

Nica

Why?

 

Gemma

You were doing what I wanted to do. And I knew it then. Deep down. And I didn’t have the courage to do it myself. Because the consequences were too great. The consequences meant you might end up where you are. And that scared me. It scared me that I wanted to be anything like you. That I was… jealous of you.

 

[Nica laughs almost hysterically.]

 

Gemma 

What? WHAT?

 

Nica

You. Jealous of me. You know we met before Louisa introduced us.  

 

Gemma

We did?

 

Nica

Briefly. I was barging out of ThirdSight. I’d just found something. Letters from my brother. Including one that… that shouldn’t have existed. And they freaked me out. I rushed out the back door, and you were standing there as if you were waiting for me. You asked me something. I don’t even remember what it was. But I ran away, to Louisa, and— [Pause.] You don’t remember that, do you?

 

Gemma

I remember it. But— 

 

Nica

But you didn’t realize it was me. Story of my life. People like you? You have others you can depend on. Family you can come home to. Loved ones who fill your life, who listen to you, understand you. But there’s something about me, just constantly tucked away into the corners of lives others don’t notice.

 

Gemma [quietly]

Like a forgotten song. 

 

Nica

What did you say? 

 

Gemma

Forget it.

 

Nica

I know what it is. The day your wife jumped into the tracks and saved that kid in Red Line? Made a name for herself? Probably single-handedly won the referendum with one selfless act? I was there. I watched the whole thing. I had the same instinct. Jump down. Help that dumb free runner. Even after she did it. Jump down. Help the poor pregnant woman. But I didn’t. I froze. I stood there even after all the press had left and the trains started running again. And that’s when I realized I was a ghost. My family was gone, and without their lives to latch onto, without the courage to interact with the world, I was banished to the corners, until I couldn’t even make people pay attention when I was raving like a lunatic on the T. 

 

Gemma

Your brother is paying attention. 

 

Nica

Dimitri? I don’t want him to, do you understand? I used to be angry with him, used to convince myself that it was other people for the longest time, but it’s not other people. It’s nobody else. It’s ME. It’s just me. And I can’t stop being me. And I can’t flick a switch and change whatever it is that makes it me. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Gemma

Ya know, having people in your life? To listen and understand you? It doesn’t make everything better. It doesn’t necessarily make you feel less alone. It often makes you lonelier. Because why should you feel that way, with loving people in your life? Good, caring people. How could you? With a beautiful wife and child, capable of so much warmth and understanding? People who would do anything for you? You’re lonely with all that? What’s wrong with you? How dare you feel alone? How fucking dare you? 

 

[Pause.]

 

For a long time, I was looking for something I thought would make me feel less alone. Because once upon a time, it did. And then I lost it. And once I lost it, I… I felt like I fucked up. Like it was all my fault, and to be happy again, I needed it back. Because it would make everything better once I had it back. But do you know what happened? When I finally got it back? I fucked up even more. I acted selfishly to the point where I pushed people away. To the point where I had to ask myself—”how did this happen?” It’s about choices, right? Choices I’ve made. But sometimes choices don’t feel like a choice. Sometimes they’re just who you are. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Is that the same with you?

 

Nica

Yes. 

 

Gemma

Mmm. [Pause.] When I was a kid, I used to tape songs I liked off the radio. Kasey Kasem top 40 Sunday morning, Weird Wednesday on WBUR, Saturday Morning Showtunes on ERS. Occasionally I would get lucky, capture the whole song, maybe even two songs in a row I really liked. But sometimes I’d only capture half a song, a quarter of a song, a handful of notes. And when I stopped recording, the DJ would cut in and then I would record myself taking over, mimicking their voice. 

 

Nica

What are you—?

 

Gemma

From there, my brothers and I made radio shows, news programs. And I told my mother, this is what I want to do. I want to be on the radio. I want my voice out there, able to be heard, able to be discovered by others. As a singer. As a performer. If not that, then a DJ. Anything. I just want to be heard.

 

Nica

Stop this. Stop it!

 

Gemma

So I tried to be. I tried to act, perform, sing, dance. But it never felt good because—because I could never convince myself that anyone cared. My mother would come to my performances at school—chorus, Guys and Dolls, Anything Goes, but when I asked her what she thought? When I asked her what she thought? She would say…

 

Nica [thinking back, hurt]

Why don’t you be more like your older brother?

 

Gemma

My older brother. He had a job by the time he was eleven. A paper route. And then he bought out other paper routes with candy and comics, monopolizing the town and managing them himself to make them more efficient. He turned a profit. My younger brother, meanwhile, would run away from home. Not because he was sad or angry, not because he was fighting with my mother. No, he just couldn’t stop reading in the library. He’d sneak in a tent and a giant flashlight and stay up all night reading about the great mysteries of the world. 

 

Nica

You don’t—you don’t know me—this is—!

 

Gemma

So when my mother asked me to be more like my older brother, I pulled myself in both directions. Wanting to be a free spirit like my younger brother, but always… tempered by reality, always afraid to embrace the steps to get there, focusing more on what was practical like my older brother. So I got some steady jobs. Sewing and repair shops. And I was pulled into both directions until the me I wanted to be no longer existed. And whenever the temptation came back to do something creative? I heard the voice of my mother saying… saying…

 

Nica

One aimless dreamer in our family is enough. Why are you doing this? How did you—?

 

Narrator—Alexander Danner

Gemma reached into her purse. Was she really going to—was she—?

 

Gemma [narrating]

Am I really going to do this?

 

Narrator 

[Sighs.] Predictable. Not that it makes any difference at this point. Pawns need to be sacrificed to win the game, sometimes.

 

Gemma [narrating]

I reach my hand out and slam the ball against the glass before I can change my mind. 

 

[Sound of the crystal ball hitting the glass.]

 

Gemma

Because I know. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that way too. And I see you. I see what you’ve been through. I understand.

 

Nica

Is that—is that?

 

Gemma

Yes.

 

Nica

How long!?

 

Gemma

Too long.

 

Nica

He’s—he’s not well; he wrote me and Dimitri and he said— 

 

Gemma

I know.

 

Nica

How could you?

 

Gemma

The same way you could. The same way you did. I… lost myself… for a while there. And I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. 

 

[Nica puts her hand on the glass.]

 

Nica

You could see all that? He—he showed you all of those memories?

 

Gemma

He did. I’m not even sure it was intentional. But he did and—and… [Laughs.] Louisa tried to warn me once. We’re too much alike. But seeing that made me realize just how wrong I had been, even before now, before this. When I started at ThirdSight, I figured I’d work there six months. I stayed there for twenty. Miserable. Years. Until I crossed paths with magic in the form of your brother. And he showed me I could be something else. And that’s what he and I want to show you right now too. 

 

Nica

It’s too late. It’s too late for me. I’m here. I’m stuck. I can’t— 

 

Gemma

What if you could?

 

Nica

Please tell me what he’s saying. Please! 

 

Leon Stamatis—Braden Lamb [garbled]

—approaching Braintree Station 9:34 PM rook takes bishop castling lab location has moved Ethan says—BUT WITHOUT THE STABILIZING BRAIN THAT MEANS [glitch] I’LL REGULATE THEIR MEMORIES—a river incorrectly Brian Brown studying—BIOLOGY hard— 

 

Gemma

He—he doesn’t know—he’s not sure what he’s—?

 

Nica

What’s wrong with him?

 

Gemma

He’s been having a hard time lately. It’s been a lot. It’s been— 

 

Nica

Please tell me. No matter what it is, tell me. Please!

 

Leon

—A river—YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE—tomorrow—CONTACT SOMEONE AT WONDERLAND AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT ETHAN—the coffin it’s not her fault but if we don’t act soon then— TOMORROW— 

 

Gemma

He’s saying it’s not your fault. Nica. It wasn’t your fault. He’s saying he’s going to help get you out of here. He’s saying he’s going to give you a choice again. 

 

The Obelisk

 

[Red Line train noises—train slows down. Door sound.]

 

Mayor—Rick Zieff

Excuse me. I am here to see Mayor Bespin.

 

Kavlyn—Daisy Guevara

Mayor Bespin is very busy. Are you on her sched?

 

Mayor

I am not. 

 

Kavlyn

Oooh. Yeah. That’s gonna be tricky. 

 

Mayor

Do you know who this is?

 

Kavlyn

He looks kinda like one of those things?

 

Mayor

Things?

 

Kavlyn

That make the train go and drag people to jail and stuff.

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

Blasphemous tongues go numb but not silent. 

 

Mayor

This is Ethan Bespin. The Mayor’s husband.

 

Kavlyn

‘Kay. 

 

[Pause.] 

 

Who are you?

 

Mayor

Just tell Mayor Bespin that her husband is here to see her. 

 

Kavlyn

But who are you?

 

Mayor

Mayor. 

 

Kavlyn

Mayor what?

 

Mayor

Just Mayor. For now. 

 

Kavlyn

‘Kay. [Over intercom] Your excellent? There’s a Mayor and your husby here to see you.

 

[Shrieking noises.]

 

Kavlyn

Wow, never heard that sound from her before. You two must really be something.

 

Emily Bespin—Sam Musher [over intercom]

Ethan? Ethan is here? To see me?

 

Kavlyn

Yup, and a mayor.

 

Mayor

Just Mayor.

 

Kavlyn

Just Mayor. 

 

Emily

Mayor who?

 

Mayor

Just Mayor. 

 

Kavlyn

Just Mayor I guess, no “who”. 

 

Emily

Nobody is just named Mayor! Hang on. I’m coming out. No! Let them in. But not yet! No, just let Ethan in.

 

Mayor

We’re going together. We have news to give her.

 

Kavlyn

They’re going together. They have— 

 

Emily

Yes, Kavlyn, thank you, I can hear them through the intercom. Let me hear my lovely coconut-stuffed-joy-of-almond boo-boo-bear. 

 

Ethan

Hi, Emily.

 

[Shrieking noise.]

 

Kavlyn [quietly]

Didn’t even know she had a husband…

 

Emily

Okay. Okay. I’m not—let them in. I’m not ready. But let them in.

 

Kavlyn

Okay, go in, I guess. Bye. 

 

[Red Line door sound—opening and closing.]

 

Emily

Ethan! [Pause.] You look like one of them. 

 

Mayor

Legion.

 

Emily

Yes. Sales? Manager? Lawyer?

 

Mayor

Oh no, but I contain aspects of them all. I am Mayor. 

 

Emily

Uh-huh. Okay. And why are you here?

 

Mayor

Ethan?

 

Ethan

The promised land is pulled to our feet without endless wandering. Emily, they’re giving me Coney Island!

 

Mayor

It’s in desperate need of rejuvenation, and we believe your husband is the man for the job. 

 

Emily

A theme park. Just for you. Just… just what you’ve always wanted. 

 

Ethan

Miles of homunculus marble to carve into the “David” of amusement. 

 

Emily

Marble or cheese? [Pause.] Ethan. What about the city?

 

Ethan

You don’t need it anymore. 

 

Mayor

And that’s why I’m here. You leave it to me and slip off to your new paradise. 

 

Emily

You think I failed you. Don’t you? Because I didn’t get you your Wonderland. 

 

Ethan

The river can run backwards, and calm banks never broken until the seas empty and billions of forms of life flop in wide-eyed desperation to make oxygen as a giant obelisk stretching to the heavens collects all precious moisture for a great and terrible impending storm! I have been working on something remarkable, and I am so close! A calendar without days, a globe without orbit, a square without sides. We can be together again like we used to be if you just take my hand. 

 

Emily

I—I think—oh, of course I’ll always take your ha—

 

[Short electrical noise.]

 

emily

—haaAAAH! 

[Changing, slightly robotic voice] Oh, Ethan, I simply love your designs for— 

 

[her voice drops octaves— it sounds almost pre-recorded] CONEY ISLAND

 

[“normal” robotic voice]—and I can not wait to furnish our new home with simply the finest finery you deserve, my fine partner. I will cook the dinner, and it will be hot when you return from your workshop and/or laboratory. What cheesy dreams will you weave today, my love? I will be waiting. 

 

[Short electrical noise. Pause.]

 

Emily

What was that? I did not—I—what was that?

 

Mayor

It’s a prototype. But it’s a game changer. Your brilliant husband has developed it, combining his work in robotics and his experience with that cursed ball. This is just the beginning. 

 

Ethan

The beginning, Emily. It could be our beginning again. 

 

Mayor

The city will remain safely in Legion’s hands once you abdicate and assign it to me. 

 

Emily

This is what you want? You want me like we were… in the beginning?

 

Ethan

Our own private garden to tend to like a golden orange paradise. 

 

Emily

Okay. Okay, Ethan. Let me… let me think about it. Okay?

 

Mayor

Think? What’s there to—?

 

Emily [sharply]

Yes. Think. I can still do that. I can still do that for now. Right? 

 

[Pause.]

 

Mayor

Of course. 

 

[Red Line door noise.]

 

Ethan

I know you’re unhappy here.

 

Emily 

[Laughs bitterly.] I am. I truly am. I don’t remember the last time I was happy.

 

Ethan

Memories are data slipped into tiny drawers of the mind. Let me program them for you. 

 

Emily

I am not one of your creations. I’m your wife.

 

Ethan

The obelisk churns into the earth like a firm worm searching the center. The way forward is back. Without programmers, programs fade. When I leave, if you don’t come with me, be careful on these trains. 

 

Emily

Are you—?

 

[Red line doors as Ethan leaves.]

 

Charlie Off the MTA

 

[Secret door noise.]

 

Dimitri Stamatis—James Johnston

Hello? Charlie? You there?

 

Charlie on the MTA—Eric Molinsky

‘Course I’m here. I’m Charlie and this is the MTA! Can’t go nowhere else! 

 

Dimitri

Right. 

 

Charlie

Hey, thanks for coming back, pal. Only one person came back for years, and that was the missus. Then one day she stopped. Figured she’s prolly stuck on her own trolley car in the sky somewhere. Sure do miss her. And her sandwiches. 

 

Dimitri

Speaking of. I have a sack of egg salad here for you, from the best deli in town. 

 

Charlie

Now we’re talking! 

 

[Charlie eats the sandwich.]

 

Dimitri

Anything the matter?

 

Charlie

Nah, it’s good. Thanks, kid. It’s real good.

 

Dimitri

You sure?

 

Charlie

Sure I’m sure! It’s just… sandwiches ain’t taste the same when you’re dead. Nothing like being alive and ripping into a really good sandwich. Don’t get me wrong, this still tastes fine. Eggs nice and fresh. Bread soft on the inside, good crunch on the outside. It’s like I can’t get full no more. I used to hate eating too much. Felt gluttonous, you know? Ya’ ever go to the beach and load up on pizza and just lay in the sun like a beached baking whale? Disgusting! But there was something nice about that feeling, too. Nice about that discomfort. Now that I’m dead, I realize that was a big part of being alive. And then I sit and think—was I ever alive? I mean, sure, I’m a ghost, a ghost of a guy from a song. I can still taste how good my wife’s roast beef was. Just tender and juicy. Mrs. on the MTA used to bake this delicious onion roll. She got the recipe from Londi’s before Londi’s was Londi’s. Whole house would stink ‘a hot onions, but once I bit into into that baby, you wouldn’t find me giving a darn, no sir. Fresh horseradish sauce, too. Wife used to pickle her own pickles. She was such a good cook, I swear to you, I can still taste it. Years after we’re dead. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Now you tell me, sonny. Are those real memories? If I’m just some ghost of a guy from the song, what does that even mean? 

 

Dimitri

I think… if you have those memories, they have to be real, right? Memories are how we learn and keep going.

 

Charlie

Keep going? I ain’t been going since I got stuck in here. So that throws your theory outta wack.

 

Dimitri

Well, maybe it’s time to change that. 

 

[He throws a bag of nickels on the floor of the trolley.]

 

Charlie

Holy Janglin’ Jackpot, where’d you get all them?

 

Dimitri

I have a spare change jar with a sticker of Johnny Quest on it. Had it since I was little, saving up for adventures. So. How ‘bout it? Ready to become Charlie Off the MTA?

 

Charlie

Yeah. Sure. Just let me enjoy a few more bites of this sandwich, you know?

 

Dimitri

Yeah, no rush. 

 

[Charlie chews slowly.]

 

Charlie

Mmm. I change my mind. This is good. Real good. How many others you brought with ya?

 

Dimitri

Three more.

 

Charlie

Help yourself to one.

 

Dimitri

That’s okay. I had some go-gurt on the way down here.

 

Charlie

Go-gurt, bleh. Is that what they got out there to eat these days? Just creamy dairy tubes? Like suckin’ on a cow udder for lunch. No thanks.

 

Dimitri

They’re just handy for… being on the go.

 

Charlie

Not for me. I’d prefer to just take my time. Get me some stay-gurt. Serve it in a bowl with some fruit, maybe. 

 

Dimitri

I think that’s just called yogurt.

 

Charlie [sounding nervous]

Yeah, I know it is, wise guy. Just sayin’. You young kids always on the run with your on-the-go dairy. You gotta be careful. That’s how you get stuck somewhere for all of eternity. 

 

Dimitri

Are you okay, Charlie?

 

Charlie

Sure. Sure I am. Just savorin’ the last of this egg salad. Nice and creamy. You did good, kid. Thanks for thinking of me. Not sure I can eat the other three, though.

 

Dimitri

Are you actually full?

 

Charlie

Nah, like I told you, that can’t happen no more. 

 

Dimitri

Maybe you can bring them with you.

 

Charlie

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Not sure there will be other sandwich opportunities after that. You know? 

 

Dimitri

I’m sure there will be.

 

Charlie

Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?

 

Dimitri

Uhh—I’m sorry, but— 

 

Charlie

So many people used to be sure of so many things. I used to be sure. I’d hop on the trolley every day sure I’d go to work, and look where it got me? Huh? Even back then, I’d talk to people so sure of everything and I’d wonder, where do they get that from? Who walks around like they got all the answers? Either they do and they’re not sharing them, or they’re faking it because—because— 

 

Dimitri

Okay. Okay, Charlie, you’re right. I’m not sure. I’m not sure about the sandwiches. 

 

Charlie

Ah, kid, it ain’t the sandwiches… it’s…

 

Dimitri

You’re scared. You’re scared to leave. 

 

Charlie

You know I used to think—how great it would to be a part of a song? People will always know me. As long as that song is sung, I’ll be here. And sure, I’m stuck by myself, but being here is better than nowhere, you know? But what happens if people forget to sing? What happens if people forget my song?

 

Dimitri

Huh. My sister said something very similar to me once. She had a dream that she lived inside a famous song. A song the whole world knew and would sing together, and she could feel it when they did. She lived forever, or close to it, but then one by one, the song started to fade. Until everyone forgot it. And then it was nothing but a memory. And so was she. 

 

Charlie

That’ll happen to all of us. Won’t it. That’s really death. Isn’t it? Being forgotten. 

 

Dimitri

I—I don’t know. 

 

Charlie

And neither do I. I take that nickel and leave, who knows what’s next for me? Is it the end? Do I stop bein’ anythin’? Can I go anywhere I want? Do I go back to the song? Does the song stop being sung? I have no idea. 

 

Dimitri

But isn’t that exciting on some level?

 

Charlie

You’ve really never been scared your whole life, have you? You just lumber forward without a thought of what you might stumble into, how you might impact others, how your next step could change everything. Is that it? Are you one of those? My brother Rocco was like that. 

 

Dimitri

Yeah. I guess I’m a bit like Rocco. 

 

Charlie

You remind me of him. And kid, I wish I had that in me. But I don’t. And what you got to realize is that it ain’t so easy for people like me. It’s not just a bag full of nickels and a shove out the door. This might not seem like much, this haunted trolley house. But I know what it is. What comes next might excite you. But before I even get to imagine those frightening possibilities, consider this. I got two known options to wrestle with. One, those nickels work, or it don’t. And I don’t know which of those two options is worse. 

 

[Transformative sound.]

 

Dimitri [internally—narrating]

For… for some reason, this makes me think of Nica. And I finally understand what she’d been trying to tell me weeks ago, about staying in her cell. And I think of Leon and the fact that I just learned he was stuck in his own cell. And what did I do about that? I ran away, into the tunnels, back into ghosts, into mystery. We all have our cells. And I’m so busy pretending I always run from mine to understand that… that’s what it is. 

 

[Pause.]

 

I stuff my hands deep into my jean pockets, feeling a flash of shame. And then my fingers brush against something small, round, and cold. 

 

[To Charlie] Those nickels won’t work. But I know what will. 

 

Charlie

A token! But it’s so tiny? Where did you get that?

 

Dimitri

My sister gave it to me. But first, I gave it to her. 

 

Charlie

The sister with the song?

 

Dimitri

The same. 

 

Charlie

Why are you so sure it’ll work?

 

Dimitri

Because… it’s magic. 

 

Charlie

Ain’t no such thing as magic.

 

Dimitri

Said the haunted trolley ghost to the guy who found Atlantis. 

 

Charlie

Can I hold it?

 

[Dimitri presses it into Charlie’s palm.]

 

Charlie

Holy ghost. It is magic. I can feel it. I think I can leave. 

 

Dimitri

Are you ready to try?

 

Charlie

What’s out there for me, kid?

 

Dimitri

Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Maybe something in between. But it won’t be here. And I know that’s scary, but you owe it to yourself to not be here for a while. You owe it to yourself to move on. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Charlie

Hand me them sandwiches. Maybe the nickels, just in case I get stuck again. 

 

[Dimitri hands them over.]

 

Charlie

Sit there in that rear conductor seat. 

 

[Dimitri sits.]

 

Charlie

I think I’ll go see how Jamaica Plain has changed. That’s where I’ll go. Next stop, please.

 

[Ghostly train bell rings. Ghostly train noise—as if the train is moving.]

 

Dimitri

Whoa!

 

Charlie [singing]

Now all night long

Charlie rides through the station

Crying ‘What will become of me?’

How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea

Or my cousin, in Roxbury?

Did he ever return?

No, he never returned!

 

[Spoken] So long, kid! Thanks for the token!

 

[The ghostly train noise stops—a ghostly Green Line door sound and Charlie leaves—a supernatural sound as he sighs happily.]

 

Got You

 

Narrator—Alexander Danner

Oliver hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. He was using his Legion Assistant to try and gain more information about what Ethan’s departure would mean for Red Line, head all full of worries. I could stop him anytime I want. Eventually I probably will. But for now? It’s just too cute! I mean, look at him.

 

Oliver West—Mike Linden [worn out]

Infernal Machine, train 33, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon Stamatis—Braden Lamb

4:44 PM. Approaching Andrew Station inbound.  To veer away from established plans is unconscionable to me, a fact that may frustrate my friends, but which never disappoints my employers.

 

Narrator

Just what are you looking for?

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, train 7, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

4:44 PM. Approaching Kendall Square outbound. Fuck your process. 

 

Narrator

Oh, my. We’re bound to get some juicy complaints on that one. 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, train 13, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

4:45 PM. Ashmont, Outbound. You can say no. Change here for trolley service to Mattpan. You can do something else.

 

Oliver

Blast it!

 

Narrator [laughing]

And just why are you so upset? Are you so desperate to be right that you’re betting on disaster? You exhausted little fool. 

 

Leon [tired]

Come on, Oliver. 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine. Customers saying “nope” right now—including Red Line drivers. Please let me hear them, one by one in quick succession. 

 

Infernal Machine—Bonnie Bogovitch

Processing. Red Line drivers are not customers. 

 

Oliver

Let me hear them anyway.

 

Infernal Machine

Processing. Subject “Brian Brown”.

 

Brian Brown—Ian DePriest

Nope. Sorry. Gotta study. 

 

Frankie—Sawyer Greene

Listen to you. Studying rather than heading to a party? You’ve changed, bro. 

 

Brian

Yeah. For all the good it’s doing me. 

 

Oliver

Next. 

 

Fat Stanley—Vinay Nariani

Yo. Johnson. Do you like hot dogs? Wanna go out and grab a hot dog with— 

 

Valiance Johnson—Jordan Cobb

Nope.

 

Fat Stanley

Uhh—my sister. My sister wanted to grab a hot dog with you. Totally not me. Never me. I hate hot dogs. 

 

Oliver

Next!

 

Infernal Machine

Processing. Subject “Ethan Bespin.”

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

—the dangerous memory being the one Stamatis terminated himself with, accompanied by his uttering of a single word—nope. 

 

Mayor—Rick Zieff

I see. What happens when someone isn’t present to defuse that particular memory?

 

Oliver

Infernal machine, record this. 

 

Ethan

The dam overloads and floods the valley with negatives. 

 

Mayor

And what does that do to the trains? 

 

Ethan

Not sure, actually, but the infused memories are connected across synthetic brains, which likely could manifest into a widespread system collapse. 

 

Mayor

Widespread…?

 

Ethan

Trains go nope, trains shut down, trains go crash, trains go boom. 

 

Mayor

How are you so sure the train we’re on is—

 

Ethan

The system became predictable after a while. The next one should be tonight heading to Braintree, 7pm. 

 

Mayor

Braintree. 7:00 PM. The start of the Yard Goats game. 

 

Ethan

Your words mean less to me than the lives cost to science. 

 

Mayor

No wonder Mr. N warned me about this job. But there are upsides to this, for sure. We can pin it on the terrorists. Nothing like a solid tragedy to secure our position. But what of your wife? Is she up to deal with the fallout?

 

Ethan

Emily will follow me if she knows what’s— 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, next!

 

Narrator

You can’t stop it, Oliver. It’s built into their tiny little brains. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

Nope. [Pause.] Nope. [Pause.] Nope. Next stop, Alewife. Bus service. [Pause.] Nope. [Pause.] Last stop. Thank you for riding in Red Line. 

 

Narrator

It’s going to happen, and you’re just one little worm of a man.

 

Oliver 

Okay. Right. Well. Let’s see what I can do. I’m sure there’s… something.

 

[Oliver gets up to leave. Opens the door.]

 

Oliver

Oh!

 

Bernie—Josh Rubino

Oliver West? 

 

Oliver

Uh—nooooo. I am… Carrington Vander…built? Was it?

 

Bernie

Ri-i-ight. Anyhoo, I have a letter for you. Have a good one!

 

[Oliver takes the letter, rips it open.]

 

Oliver [reading]

Got you. Got you? That’s all it!

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

GOT YOU!

 

Oliver

AHHH!

Chuck Octagon—Jeff Van Dreason

Do you have a specific memory or series of memories you think of often? What is it about them that makes you think of them? 

 

Interview 1

For a long time, I did hospital accompaniment for the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. So I would show up to the hospital just to support any survivor there when they were getting a forensic kit done. 

 

And I remember there was this one particular case, pretty early on, where this was this woman who just had—she had so much going on, even outside the—what had happened and what she was going through—so many issues—and I neded up being there for something like seven hours because she was—she was just having a lot of trouble getting through everything. 

 

And I remember feeling at the end, you know, it’s just—getting ready to leave that I just felt, like, “What did I just do here?” I didn’t do anything. I didn’t help this person. 

 

[“Charlie on the MBTA” starts playing.]

 

I felt kind of useless, but right before I left, she said—I was giving my little leaving speech, and she came over and gave me this huge hug, and she said, “Thank you so much. You have no idea what it meant to me that you are here.” 

 

And so I think of that. 

 

I think I come back to that a lot because, just, first of all, just, like, not knowing your own impact sometimes—that reminder that we all do a lot more than we think. 

 

And also, just, whenever I screw something up, I have that memory of, like, “Well, you got that one right. That was the one thing you always got right.” 

 

Previously in Greater Boston 

Bernie—Josh Rubino

Louisa Alvarez, just a letter here for you. 

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

But Wendell needs to know so badly that he goes behind my back to ask you.

 

Michael Tate—James Oliva

It’s preventing a relationship you know you really care about to move forward. 

 

Gemma Linzer-Coolidge—Lydia Anderson 

It’s like he’s connected to too many lives, too many thoughts. 

 

Dimitri Stamatis—James Johnston 

Except to me. Except to Nica. Thanks to you. 

 

Charlie on the MTA—Eric Molinsky

Hey, pal, can you spare a nickel? You think you can bring me a sandwich? 

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

Another shore awaits my priceless gifts. I’ll take New York on Legion’s dime. 

 

Oliver West—Mike Linden

You’re leaving? You can’t leave! 

 

Interview Montage

 

Chuck Octagon—Jeff Van Dreason

Do you have a specific memory or series of memories you think of often? What is it about them that makes you think of them? 

 

Interview 2

I will say my childhood, actually—I had an amazing childhood.

 

Interview 3

The first movie I ever remember seeing. My brother showed to me, when I was four years old, and it is the film Child’s Play, the origin for Chuckie, the murdering doll, who, you know, comes to life and torments this little boy. 

 

Interview 4

I think so much to going to PodCon in 2017 and 2019. 

 

Interview 5

Absence of articulation, clear articulation, because English is my second language. 

 

Interview 6

I was, like, eight, and my parents had brought us to the beach, and I was sitting there making dribble castles. You take, like, wet sand, and you just kind of let it fall off of your fingers, and it makes these really cool little, like, droplet shapes and it dries, like, pretty instantly. So you have these really cool, like, gloopy-looking castles and you can get huge, you know, for an eight year old, towers. 

 

Interview 2

Being with the family. That’s something I always replay of, like, spending time and laughing and enjoying it and stuff, and, so, like, now that we’re all older and stuff and moved away, it’s like, I don’t get that as much as I used to. 

 

Interview 3

Of course, my brother was like, “I’m going to show this movie to my younger sibling and I’m just—I’m just gonna scare the shit out of them”, and it didn’t work. I’m not—I wasn’t afraid of the movie at four; I’m still not. It did kick-start my love for horror movies, so joke’s—joke’s on you, Jonathan. You failed. 

 

Interview 6

And it looks so strange and foreign because it’s just, like, gravity and sand doing the work. Like, it’s not any real architecture. 

 

Interview 5

Oh my god, I should have used this word, they will understand me better, or I didn’t have to spend this much time on it. 

 

Interview 7

I think a lot about the births of my nieces and nephews. My oldest nephew is, like, twenty-three, and I don’t feel like we’re that far apart. Like, I literally looked at him the other day and was like, “you’re such a handsome young man, I still look like this, I still look this good.” I was like, “you’ve gotten so much older, and I look like this.” The Lord is good.

 

Interview 4

Meeting so many of the colleagues that I kind of built up making podcasts over some years was really one of the highlights of my career making podcasts. And I think so much about that—there won’t be another.

 

Interview 6

I was, like, sitting there and I was just like, I had the thought while I was making it, like, “This is it. For the rest of my life, I just want to do stuff like this. I want to make stuff.” 

 

Bunt

 

[Louisa puts down the letter and brings out her phone.]

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

God damn you, Tate.

 

Michael Tate—James Oliva [over phone]

Let me guess. You finally read it?

 

Louisa

[Pause. Tearful laughter.] Yeah. Yeah, I finally opened it. 

 

Michael

Sorry about that.

 

Louisa

What are you sorry about? It was beautiful, and you’re right, of course, and—

 

Michael

I’m an apolo-holic. What can I say? Better than booze. 

 

Louisa

Say anything but sorry. I have to say I’m sorry. I am the sorry one! And I did. I wrote this whole thing out and sent it because I needed to get my thoughts in order, but then I remembered your letter, and even though I clearly was pushing you away the other day? I needed you. I needed my best friend. So after sending my letter, I read yours. And then I realized I needed to apologize with more… urgency. 

 

[Weird knocking noise.]

 

Bernie—Josh Rubino [through phone]

Mr. Tate, I presume! 

 

Michael

Oh, uh. One sec. Someone is standing outside the Roquefort. 

 

Bernie 

Hello there, Mr. Tate. Don’t mean to be disturbing the cheese, hehe. But, uhh, I gotta letter here for ya!

 

Michael

Do I know you?

 

Bernie

No, but I sure know you. Delivered your letters all over town. Quite the story you had, from what I picked up. Yessir, quite the pickle. 

 

Michael

Oh. Uhh?

 

Louisa [quietly]

The hell?

 

Michael

You read my mail?

 

Bernie

Oh, no, of course not, I would never—I wouldn’t violate the—the sacred—no! No, no, not me, not Bernie. No, I had other people read it. 

 

Michael

You had other people… read my mail… to you?

 

Bernie

They were—they were the people I was delivering to! They read it to me out loud and—

 

Michael

So like—all the letters I sent… as I was dying at ThirdSight Media—you delivered them all? And heard all of them?

 

Bernie

Yep!

 

Michael

So, like, Louisa Alvarez, for example. 

 

Louisa

Michael, I would never! 

 

Bernie

Oh. No. Not her. No. There were a few folks who said no. 

 

Michael

So you asked? If you could hear them read my mail?

 

Bernie

Uhh? Some—well. I—? Uhh? Sometimes I didn’t ask. But then I started getting curious, you see, the more I heard. It’s not like I said “read this to me” at first—but some of them just did! And I stuck around, and the more I stuck around, the more curious I got. Those letters really moved people. Most people. Hard to move Wanda, I suppose. 

 

Louisa

What is going on?

 

Bernie

ANYway—I got this letter for you, and by no means do I want to hear it. No sir, not a word. Here you go! 

 

Michael

Louisa Alvarez. 

 

Louisa

What?

 

Michael

That’s who it’s from.

 

Louisa

WHAT?

 

Michael

Michael Tate. Cheese Roquefort number 4. Wonderland. Revere, MA. 

 

Louisa

I just mailed that like a few hours ago. That’s impossible! I didn’t even think it would make it because that can’t be a real address. 

 

Michael

Do you want me to read it?

 

Bernie

Uhh—I guess I should be going, right?

 

Louisa

No!

 

Michael

No?

 

Bernie

Oh! Okay. I’ll stay if you’re sure?

 

Louisa

I can’t stand hearing you read what I wrote. Total cringe. I’ll just say it. But keep Postal Pete there; I have some questions for him. 

 

Michael

She wants you to stay. 

 

Bernie

Who?

 

Michael

Louisa.

 

Bernie

Oh. Oh! So she called you and wrote a letter? Does she want to hear you read it?

 

Michael and Louisa

No!

 

Louisa

I just want to know what’s up with your supersonic mailman powers.

 

Michael

She just wants to know what’s up with your supersonic mailman powers. 

 

Bernie

Uhh. Speaking of that—Need to get moving if I’m gonna deliver the rest of this bag before sunset. Bye, now!

 

Michael

Wait! Wa—he—he’s gone. He was the fastest mail carrier I ever saw.

 

Louisa

What the hell?

 

Michael

Like, he damn near teleported. We should write a story on him. 

 

Louisa

Okay, well, that was weird, but anyway, let me just apologize over the phone, and then you can decide to read that later, or burn it, or use it as a coaster, I don’t know.

 

Michael

Louisa, I would never use your mail as a coaster. 

 

Louisa

I—am sorry. I was truly acting like a selfish a-hole and—it was my own shit that I never processed, that’s why. I don’t like talking about my family because…o kay, so growing up?  Growing up I had this doll. I think it was supposed to be a rabbit, but one of his ears got cut off at some point, so I thought of him more like a dog with a ponytail. 

 

Michael

A pony-pup.

 

Louisa

I called him Bunt. Don’t laugh! That was just a little kid name. He was, like, my security stuffy. When I could feel the coldness between my parents settle in, like an invisible glacier slide into place? I would go to my room, read a book, and cuddle with Bunt. He made me feel better. It’s easy to love someone when they’re not real, when they don’t have a choice. They receive so much love from you that you fill in the blanks until you feel that love reflected back. 

 

As I got older my parents kinda pressed me to get rid of Bunt. So I told them I would. I told them I did. But I hid him. Under my bed. In the bottom of my hamper. Shoved into the corners of my closet. And—and as I grew up I started taking things out on him. When I could feel that glacier between my parents? Just sensed it? I’d throw Bunt. Punch him. Knock him against the walls. 

 

There was never any concrete conflict. No big fight. Just this ever-present anger. Sadness. And sometimes it would slip out. The masks would fall and there’d be this flare up of temper. A volcano eruption would melt the glacier, leaving a hazy cloud of steam you couldn’t see through. But it was all so brief it didn’t feel real.

 

So I’d cuddle with Bunt in secret. And out of nowhere throw him against the wall. Stomp on him. Rip some of his stuffing out. But then go back to cuddling. I don’t know why I did this. I didn’t think much of it. It was just a stuffed animal. But one day my parents found out I still had Bunt. I didn’t get in trouble but they asked me why I lied. I shrugged. They said nothing. And I threw him out. And that was that. 

 

Except that wasn’t that. I didn’t even think about it until this morning, but I probably picked up a lot of how they were acting. And I acted that way too. Act. That way. Too. I avoid conflict and just… let things build up sometimes until I get so angry I can’t stand it and I don’t know what I’m saying. I got scared, Michael. About a few things. About repeating the same mistakes they did. And I saw you as someone who was trying to talk me into conflict, which wasn’t even true. 

 

[Pause.]

 

I’ve never had a best friend. I always thought that was like… a default of mine. But it’s the same reason I’ve always struggled with any kind of intimacy. I… don’t let people get that close. Because once that happens, not only can I get hurt? I’m afraid I will treat them the way my parents treated each other. And I can’t stand that thought. And especially now that I see the same patterns of behavior in me that I saw in them? I’m scared shitless even more! I can’t throw you out like Bunt. Not if I’m a good friend. And I can’t do that with Wendell either. And that doesn’t excuse anything I did or said. I’m just trying to explain myself while thanking you so much for… well? Hopefully forgiving me. But either way. I love you. So much.

 

Michael

Okay. First of all, I love you too. Second of all, thank you for opening up to me, I know that was hard.  But I need to tell you something. My father was an alcoholic. My brother was an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic. But I am not drinking. And I’m not going to drink. Because I recognize those patterns for what they are and I’m actively fighting against them. And you can too. I know you can. Because I believe in you. You don’t need a Bunt. You’ve got this. You’re the strongest person I ever met. But also I am with you and I always will be. Even when you throw me across the room, stomp on me, or stuff me in the trash. 

 

Louisa 

[Sighs.] God damn it, why are you so good?

 

Michael

Oh, it’s because I work out. At the Good Gym. You walk in and just practice advice, train up on handing out compliments, life lessons.

 

Louisa

Shut up.

 

Michael

Do you even nice, bro? 

 

Louisa

Stop. Okay. Now there’s a few people I need to check in with. 

 

Michael

Wendell?

 

Louisa

Yes. I’m dreading that call because it’s going to be ugly. But before I call him? I think I need to call my parents.

 

Michael

How long has it been?

 

Louisa

Uhh? Let’s just say they still think I’m a wedding photographer. 

 

A FORGOTTEN SONG

 

[Jail environment noises. Red Line train rumbling. A loud buzzer. A sliding door. Nica walks over and slumps into a chair, picks up a telephone.]

 

Nica Stamatis—Kelly McCabe

What are you doing here? Come to gloat?

 

Gemma Linzer-Coolidge—Lydia Anderson

No. I know you’ve had a lot of visitors lately.

 

Nica

Sure. Michael. Louisa. Dimitri. All came to say goodbye. 

 

Gemma

Is that what you want?

 

Nica

It’s not like I really have a choice, do I?

 

Gemma

It’s so weird. 

 

Nica

What is?

 

Gemma

The window. I can see a trace of my own reflection. It’s, like… superimposed over your face. 

 

Nica

Oh, right. I noticed that the first time my brother came to visit. I got used to it, I guess. What are you doing here?

 

Gemma [quietly]

I… I owed you a visit. 

 

Nica

Thanks, I guess, but you’re not exactly on the top of my visitation list. 

 

Gemma [quietly]

Not from me.

 

Nica

What?

 

Gemma

The visit isn’t from me. 

 

Nica

Did—did something happen to Dimitri?

 

Gemma

No. He’s fine. Sorry, I’m not—I didn’t have a game plan for this. I walked for a long time. Above ground. Through Red Line. Through it all, I kept coming back to the same conclusion. I had to come here and tell you. I had to— 

 

Nica

Tell me what? [Pause.] Are you, like, trying to apologize or something? 

 

Gemma

Or something. Back when I first found out about what you were doing with Emily, I was angry at you. I couldn’t forget the moment I held on to my baby as a Red Line train we were on crashed into a tank of hot molasses, or the moment my wife and child were almost scalded by hot baked beans, or the moment I heard my best friend was nearly blinded by tea. I mean, do you hear that? That this is how tragedy happens? I am still angry with you about that. But that wasn’t all of it. Do you know why I think I was really angry? That day Louisa introduced you to me?

 

Nica

Why?

 

Gemma

You were doing what I wanted to do. And I knew it then. Deep down. And I didn’t have the courage to do it myself. Because the consequences were too great. The consequences meant you might end up where you are. And that scared me. It scared me that I wanted to be anything like you. That I was… jealous of you.

 

[Nica laughs almost hysterically.]

 

Gemma 

What? WHAT?

 

Nica

You. Jealous of me. You know we met before Louisa introduced us.  

 

Gemma

We did?

 

Nica

Briefly. I was barging out of ThirdSight. I’d just found something. Letters from my brother. Including one that… that shouldn’t have existed. And they freaked me out. I rushed out the back door, and you were standing there as if you were waiting for me. You asked me something. I don’t even remember what it was. But I ran away, to Louisa, and— [Pause.] You don’t remember that, do you?

 

Gemma

I remember it. But— 

 

Nica

But you didn’t realize it was me. Story of my life. People like you? You have others you can depend on. Family you can come home to. Loved ones who fill your life, who listen to you, understand you. But there’s something about me, just constantly tucked away into the corners of lives others don’t notice.

 

Gemma [quietly]

Like a forgotten song. 

 

Nica

What did you say? 

 

Gemma

Forget it.

 

Nica

I know what it is. The day your wife jumped into the tracks and saved that kid in Red Line? Made a name for herself? Probably single-handedly won the referendum with one selfless act? I was there. I watched the whole thing. I had the same instinct. Jump down. Help that dumb free runner. Even after she did it. Jump down. Help the poor pregnant woman. But I didn’t. I froze. I stood there even after all the press had left and the trains started running again. And that’s when I realized I was a ghost. My family was gone, and without their lives to latch onto, without the courage to interact with the world, I was banished to the corners, until I couldn’t even make people pay attention when I was raving like a lunatic on the T. 

 

Gemma

Your brother is paying attention. 

 

Nica

Dimitri? I don’t want him to, do you understand? I used to be angry with him, used to convince myself that it was other people for the longest time, but it’s not other people. It’s nobody else. It’s ME. It’s just me. And I can’t stop being me. And I can’t flick a switch and change whatever it is that makes it me. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Gemma

Ya know, having people in your life? To listen and understand you? It doesn’t make everything better. It doesn’t necessarily make you feel less alone. It often makes you lonelier. Because why should you feel that way, with loving people in your life? Good, caring people. How could you? With a beautiful wife and child, capable of so much warmth and understanding? People who would do anything for you? You’re lonely with all that? What’s wrong with you? How dare you feel alone? How fucking dare you? 

 

[Pause.]

 

For a long time, I was looking for something I thought would make me feel less alone. Because once upon a time, it did. And then I lost it. And once I lost it, I… I felt like I fucked up. Like it was all my fault, and to be happy again, I needed it back. Because it would make everything better once I had it back. But do you know what happened? When I finally got it back? I fucked up even more. I acted selfishly to the point where I pushed people away. To the point where I had to ask myself—”how did this happen?” It’s about choices, right? Choices I’ve made. But sometimes choices don’t feel like a choice. Sometimes they’re just who you are. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Is that the same with you?

 

Nica

Yes. 

 

Gemma

Mmm. [Pause.] When I was a kid, I used to tape songs I liked off the radio. Kasey Kasem top 40 Sunday morning, Weird Wednesday on WBUR, Saturday Morning Showtunes on ERS. Occasionally I would get lucky, capture the whole song, maybe even two songs in a row I really liked. But sometimes I’d only capture half a song, a quarter of a song, a handful of notes. And when I stopped recording, the DJ would cut in and then I would record myself taking over, mimicking their voice. 

 

Nica

What are you—?

 

Gemma

From there, my brothers and I made radio shows, news programs. And I told my mother, this is what I want to do. I want to be on the radio. I want my voice out there, able to be heard, able to be discovered by others. As a singer. As a performer. If not that, then a DJ. Anything. I just want to be heard.

 

Nica

Stop this. Stop it!

 

Gemma

So I tried to be. I tried to act, perform, sing, dance. But it never felt good because—because I could never convince myself that anyone cared. My mother would come to my performances at school—chorus, Guys and Dolls, Anything Goes, but when I asked her what she thought? When I asked her what she thought? She would say…

 

Nica [thinking back, hurt]

Why don’t you be more like your older brother?

 

Gemma

My older brother. He had a job by the time he was eleven. A paper route. And then he bought out other paper routes with candy and comics, monopolizing the town and managing them himself to make them more efficient. He turned a profit. My younger brother, meanwhile, would run away from home. Not because he was sad or angry, not because he was fighting with my mother. No, he just couldn’t stop reading in the library. He’d sneak in a tent and a giant flashlight and stay up all night reading about the great mysteries of the world. 

 

Nica

You don’t—you don’t know me—this is—!

 

Gemma

So when my mother asked me to be more like my older brother, I pulled myself in both directions. Wanting to be a free spirit like my younger brother, but always… tempered by reality, always afraid to embrace the steps to get there, focusing more on what was practical like my older brother. So I got some steady jobs. Sewing and repair shops. And I was pulled into both directions until the me I wanted to be no longer existed. And whenever the temptation came back to do something creative? I heard the voice of my mother saying… saying…

 

Nica

One aimless dreamer in our family is enough. Why are you doing this? How did you—?

 

Narrator—Alexander Danner

Gemma reached into her purse. Was she really going to—was she—?

 

Gemma [narrating]

Am I really going to do this?

 

Narrator 

[Sighs.] Predictable. Not that it makes any difference at this point. Pawns need to be sacrificed to win the game, sometimes.

 

Gemma [narrating]

I reach my hand out and slam the ball against the glass before I can change my mind. 

 

[Sound of the crystal ball hitting the glass.]

 

Gemma

Because I know. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that way too. And I see you. I see what you’ve been through. I understand.

 

Nica

Is that—is that?

 

Gemma

Yes.

 

Nica

How long!?

 

Gemma

Too long.

 

Nica

He’s—he’s not well; he wrote me and Dimitri and he said— 

 

Gemma

I know.

 

Nica

How could you?

 

Gemma

The same way you could. The same way you did. I… lost myself… for a while there. And I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. 

 

[Nica puts her hand on the glass.]

 

Nica

You could see all that? He—he showed you all of those memories?

 

Gemma

He did. I’m not even sure it was intentional. But he did and—and… [Laughs.] Louisa tried to warn me once. We’re too much alike. But seeing that made me realize just how wrong I had been, even before now, before this. When I started at ThirdSight, I figured I’d work there six months. I stayed there for twenty. Miserable. Years. Until I crossed paths with magic in the form of your brother. And he showed me I could be something else. And that’s what he and I want to show you right now too. 

 

Nica

It’s too late. It’s too late for me. I’m here. I’m stuck. I can’t— 

 

Gemma

What if you could?

 

Nica

Please tell me what he’s saying. Please! 

 

Leon Stamatis—Braden Lamb [garbled]

—approaching Braintree Station 9:34 PM rook takes bishop castling lab location has moved Ethan says—BUT WITHOUT THE STABILIZING BRAIN THAT MEANS [glitch] I’LL REGULATE THEIR MEMORIES—a river incorrectly Brian Brown studying—BIOLOGY hard— 

 

Gemma

He—he doesn’t know—he’s not sure what he’s—?

 

Nica

What’s wrong with him?

 

Gemma

He’s been having a hard time lately. It’s been a lot. It’s been— 

 

Nica

Please tell me. No matter what it is, tell me. Please!

 

Leon

—A river—YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE—tomorrow—CONTACT SOMEONE AT WONDERLAND AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT ETHAN—the coffin it’s not her fault but if we don’t act soon then— TOMORROW— 

 

Gemma

He’s saying it’s not your fault. Nica. It wasn’t your fault. He’s saying he’s going to help get you out of here. He’s saying he’s going to give you a choice again. 

 

The Obelisk

 

[Red Line train noises—train slows down. Door sound.]

 

Mayor—Rick Zieff

Excuse me. I am here to see Mayor Bespin.

 

Kavlyn—Daisy Guevara

Mayor Bespin is very busy. Are you on her sched?

 

Mayor

I am not. 

 

Kavlyn

Oooh. Yeah. That’s gonna be tricky. 

 

Mayor

Do you know who this is?

 

Kavlyn

He looks kinda like one of those things?

 

Mayor

Things?

 

Kavlyn

That make the train go and drag people to jail and stuff.

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

Blasphemous tongues go numb but not silent. 

 

Mayor

This is Ethan Bespin. The Mayor’s husband.

 

Kavlyn

‘Kay. 

 

[Pause.] 

 

Who are you?

 

Mayor

Just tell Mayor Bespin that her husband is here to see her. 

 

Kavlyn

But who are you?

 

Mayor

Mayor. 

 

Kavlyn

Mayor what?

 

Mayor

Just Mayor. For now. 

 

Kavlyn

‘Kay. [Over intercom] Your excellent? There’s a Mayor and your husby here to see you.

 

[Shrieking noises.]

 

Kavlyn

Wow, never heard that sound from her before. You two must really be something.

 

Emily Bespin—Sam Musher [over intercom]

Ethan? Ethan is here? To see me?

 

Kavlyn

Yup, and a mayor.

 

Mayor

Just Mayor.

 

Kavlyn

Just Mayor. 

 

Emily

Mayor who?

 

Mayor

Just Mayor. 

 

Kavlyn

Just Mayor I guess, no “who”. 

 

Emily

Nobody is just named Mayor! Hang on. I’m coming out. No! Let them in. But not yet! No, just let Ethan in.

 

Mayor

We’re going together. We have news to give her.

 

Kavlyn

They’re going together. They have— 

 

Emily

Yes, Kavlyn, thank you, I can hear them through the intercom. Let me hear my lovely coconut-stuffed-joy-of-almond boo-boo-bear. 

 

Ethan

Hi, Emily.

 

[Shrieking noise.]

 

Kavlyn [quietly]

Didn’t even know she had a husband…

 

Emily

Okay. Okay. I’m not—let them in. I’m not ready. But let them in.

 

Kavlyn

Okay, go in, I guess. Bye. 

 

[Red Line door sound—opening and closing.]

 

Emily

Ethan! [Pause.] You look like one of them. 

 

Mayor

Legion.

 

Emily

Yes. Sales? Manager? Lawyer?

 

Mayor

Oh no, but I contain aspects of them all. I am Mayor. 

 

Emily

Uh-huh. Okay. And why are you here?

 

Mayor

Ethan?

 

Ethan

The promised land is pulled to our feet without endless wandering. Emily, they’re giving me Coney Island!

 

Mayor

It’s in desperate need of rejuvenation, and we believe your husband is the man for the job. 

 

Emily

A theme park. Just for you. Just… just what you’ve always wanted. 

 

Ethan

Miles of homunculus marble to carve into the “David” of amusement. 

 

Emily

Marble or cheese? [Pause.] Ethan. What about the city?

 

Ethan

You don’t need it anymore. 

 

Mayor

And that’s why I’m here. You leave it to me and slip off to your new paradise. 

 

Emily

You think I failed you. Don’t you? Because I didn’t get you your Wonderland. 

 

Ethan

The river can run backwards, and calm banks never broken until the seas empty and billions of forms of life flop in wide-eyed desperation to make oxygen as a giant obelisk stretching to the heavens collects all precious moisture for a great and terrible impending storm! I have been working on something remarkable, and I am so close! A calendar without days, a globe without orbit, a square without sides. We can be together again like we used to be if you just take my hand. 

 

Emily

I—I think—oh, of course I’ll always take your ha—

 

[Short electrical noise.]

 

emily

—haaAAAH! 

[Changing, slightly robotic voice] Oh, Ethan, I simply love your designs for— 

 

[her voice drops octaves— it sounds almost pre-recorded] CONEY ISLAND

 

[“normal” robotic voice]—and I can not wait to furnish our new home with simply the finest finery you deserve, my fine partner. I will cook the dinner, and it will be hot when you return from your workshop and/or laboratory. What cheesy dreams will you weave today, my love? I will be waiting. 

 

[Short electrical noise. Pause.]

 

Emily

What was that? I did not—I—what was that?

 

Mayor

It’s a prototype. But it’s a game changer. Your brilliant husband has developed it, combining his work in robotics and his experience with that cursed ball. This is just the beginning. 

 

Ethan

The beginning, Emily. It could be our beginning again. 

 

Mayor

The city will remain safely in Legion’s hands once you abdicate and assign it to me. 

 

Emily

This is what you want? You want me like we were… in the beginning?

 

Ethan

Our own private garden to tend to like a golden orange paradise. 

 

Emily

Okay. Okay, Ethan. Let me… let me think about it. Okay?

 

Mayor

Think? What’s there to—?

 

Emily [sharply]

Yes. Think. I can still do that. I can still do that for now. Right? 

 

[Pause.]

 

Mayor

Of course. 

 

[Red Line door noise.]

 

Ethan

I know you’re unhappy here.

 

Emily 

[Laughs bitterly.] I am. I truly am. I don’t remember the last time I was happy.

 

Ethan

Memories are data slipped into tiny drawers of the mind. Let me program them for you. 

 

Emily

I am not one of your creations. I’m your wife.

 

Ethan

The obelisk churns into the earth like a firm worm searching the center. The way forward is back. Without programmers, programs fade. When I leave, if you don’t come with me, be careful on these trains. 

 

Emily

Are you—?

 

[Red line doors as Ethan leaves.]

 

Charlie Off the MTA

 

[Secret door noise.]

 

Dimitri Stamatis—James Johnston

Hello? Charlie? You there?

 

Charlie on the MTA—Eric Molinsky

‘Course I’m here. I’m Charlie and this is the MTA! Can’t go nowhere else! 

 

Dimitri

Right. 

 

Charlie

Hey, thanks for coming back, pal. Only one person came back for years, and that was the missus. Then one day she stopped. Figured she’s prolly stuck on her own trolley car in the sky somewhere. Sure do miss her. And her sandwiches. 

 

Dimitri

Speaking of. I have a sack of egg salad here for you, from the best deli in town. 

 

Charlie

Now we’re talking! 

 

[Charlie eats the sandwich.]

 

Dimitri

Anything the matter?

 

Charlie

Nah, it’s good. Thanks, kid. It’s real good.

 

Dimitri

You sure?

 

Charlie

Sure I’m sure! It’s just… sandwiches ain’t taste the same when you’re dead. Nothing like being alive and ripping into a really good sandwich. Don’t get me wrong, this still tastes fine. Eggs nice and fresh. Bread soft on the inside, good crunch on the outside. It’s like I can’t get full no more. I used to hate eating too much. Felt gluttonous, you know? Ya’ ever go to the beach and load up on pizza and just lay in the sun like a beached baking whale? Disgusting! But there was something nice about that feeling, too. Nice about that discomfort. Now that I’m dead, I realize that was a big part of being alive. And then I sit and think—was I ever alive? I mean, sure, I’m a ghost, a ghost of a guy from a song. I can still taste how good my wife’s roast beef was. Just tender and juicy. Mrs. on the MTA used to bake this delicious onion roll. She got the recipe from Londi’s before Londi’s was Londi’s. Whole house would stink ‘a hot onions, but once I bit into into that baby, you wouldn’t find me giving a darn, no sir. Fresh horseradish sauce, too. Wife used to pickle her own pickles. She was such a good cook, I swear to you, I can still taste it. Years after we’re dead. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Now you tell me, sonny. Are those real memories? If I’m just some ghost of a guy from the song, what does that even mean? 

 

Dimitri

I think… if you have those memories, they have to be real, right? Memories are how we learn and keep going.

 

Charlie

Keep going? I ain’t been going since I got stuck in here. So that throws your theory outta wack.

 

Dimitri

Well, maybe it’s time to change that. 

 

[He throws a bag of nickels on the floor of the trolley.]

 

Charlie

Holy Janglin’ Jackpot, where’d you get all them?

 

Dimitri

I have a spare change jar with a sticker of Johnny Quest on it. Had it since I was little, saving up for adventures. So. How ‘bout it? Ready to become Charlie Off the MTA?

 

Charlie

Yeah. Sure. Just let me enjoy a few more bites of this sandwich, you know?

 

Dimitri

Yeah, no rush. 

 

[Charlie chews slowly.]

 

Charlie

Mmm. I change my mind. This is good. Real good. How many others you brought with ya?

 

Dimitri

Three more.

 

Charlie

Help yourself to one.

 

Dimitri

That’s okay. I had some go-gurt on the way down here.

 

Charlie

Go-gurt, bleh. Is that what they got out there to eat these days? Just creamy dairy tubes? Like suckin’ on a cow udder for lunch. No thanks.

 

Dimitri

They’re just handy for… being on the go.

 

Charlie

Not for me. I’d prefer to just take my time. Get me some stay-gurt. Serve it in a bowl with some fruit, maybe. 

 

Dimitri

I think that’s just called yogurt.

 

Charlie [sounding nervous]

Yeah, I know it is, wise guy. Just sayin’. You young kids always on the run with your on-the-go dairy. You gotta be careful. That’s how you get stuck somewhere for all of eternity. 

 

Dimitri

Are you okay, Charlie?

 

Charlie

Sure. Sure I am. Just savorin’ the last of this egg salad. Nice and creamy. You did good, kid. Thanks for thinking of me. Not sure I can eat the other three, though.

 

Dimitri

Are you actually full?

 

Charlie

Nah, like I told you, that can’t happen no more. 

 

Dimitri

Maybe you can bring them with you.

 

Charlie

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Not sure there will be other sandwich opportunities after that. You know? 

 

Dimitri

I’m sure there will be.

 

Charlie

Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?

 

Dimitri

Uhh—I’m sorry, but— 

 

Charlie

So many people used to be sure of so many things. I used to be sure. I’d hop on the trolley every day sure I’d go to work, and look where it got me? Huh? Even back then, I’d talk to people so sure of everything and I’d wonder, where do they get that from? Who walks around like they got all the answers? Either they do and they’re not sharing them, or they’re faking it because—because— 

 

Dimitri

Okay. Okay, Charlie, you’re right. I’m not sure. I’m not sure about the sandwiches. 

 

Charlie

Ah, kid, it ain’t the sandwiches… it’s…

 

Dimitri

You’re scared. You’re scared to leave. 

 

Charlie

You know I used to think—how great it would to be a part of a song? People will always know me. As long as that song is sung, I’ll be here. And sure, I’m stuck by myself, but being here is better than nowhere, you know? But what happens if people forget to sing? What happens if people forget my song?

 

Dimitri

Huh. My sister said something very similar to me once. She had a dream that she lived inside a famous song. A song the whole world knew and would sing together, and she could feel it when they did. She lived forever, or close to it, but then one by one, the song started to fade. Until everyone forgot it. And then it was nothing but a memory. And so was she. 

 

Charlie

That’ll happen to all of us. Won’t it. That’s really death. Isn’t it? Being forgotten. 

 

Dimitri

I—I don’t know. 

 

Charlie

And neither do I. I take that nickel and leave, who knows what’s next for me? Is it the end? Do I stop bein’ anythin’? Can I go anywhere I want? Do I go back to the song? Does the song stop being sung? I have no idea. 

 

Dimitri

But isn’t that exciting on some level?

 

Charlie

You’ve really never been scared your whole life, have you? You just lumber forward without a thought of what you might stumble into, how you might impact others, how your next step could change everything. Is that it? Are you one of those? My brother Rocco was like that. 

 

Dimitri

Yeah. I guess I’m a bit like Rocco. 

 

Charlie

You remind me of him. And kid, I wish I had that in me. But I don’t. And what you got to realize is that it ain’t so easy for people like me. It’s not just a bag full of nickels and a shove out the door. This might not seem like much, this haunted trolley house. But I know what it is. What comes next might excite you. But before I even get to imagine those frightening possibilities, consider this. I got two known options to wrestle with. One, those nickels work, or it don’t. And I don’t know which of those two options is worse. 

 

[Transformative sound.]

 

Dimitri [internally—narrating]

For… for some reason, this makes me think of Nica. And I finally understand what she’d been trying to tell me weeks ago, about staying in her cell. And I think of Leon and the fact that I just learned he was stuck in his own cell. And what did I do about that? I ran away, into the tunnels, back into ghosts, into mystery. We all have our cells. And I’m so busy pretending I always run from mine to understand that… that’s what it is. 

 

[Pause.]

 

I stuff my hands deep into my jean pockets, feeling a flash of shame. And then my fingers brush against something small, round, and cold. 

 

[To Charlie] Those nickels won’t work. But I know what will. 

 

Charlie

A token! But it’s so tiny? Where did you get that?

 

Dimitri

My sister gave it to me. But first, I gave it to her. 

 

Charlie

The sister with the song?

 

Dimitri

The same. 

 

Charlie

Why are you so sure it’ll work?

 

Dimitri

Because… it’s magic. 

 

Charlie

Ain’t no such thing as magic.

 

Dimitri

Said the haunted trolley ghost to the guy who found Atlantis. 

 

Charlie

Can I hold it?

 

[Dimitri presses it into Charlie’s palm.]

 

Charlie

Holy ghost. It is magic. I can feel it. I think I can leave. 

 

Dimitri

Are you ready to try?

 

Charlie

What’s out there for me, kid?

 

Dimitri

Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Maybe something in between. But it won’t be here. And I know that’s scary, but you owe it to yourself to not be here for a while. You owe it to yourself to move on. 

 

[Pause.]

 

Charlie

Hand me them sandwiches. Maybe the nickels, just in case I get stuck again. 

 

[Dimitri hands them over.]

 

Charlie

Sit there in that rear conductor seat. 

 

[Dimitri sits.]

 

Charlie

I think I’ll go see how Jamaica Plain has changed. That’s where I’ll go. Next stop, please.

 

[Ghostly train bell rings. Ghostly train noise—as if the train is moving.]

 

Dimitri

Whoa!

 

Charlie [singing]

Now all night long

Charlie rides through the station

Crying ‘What will become of me?’

How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea

Or my cousin, in Roxbury?

Did he ever return?

No, he never returned!

 

[Spoken] So long, kid! Thanks for the token!

 

[The ghostly train noise stops—a ghostly Green Line door sound and Charlie leaves—a supernatural sound as he sighs happily.]

 

Got You

 

Narrator—Alexander Danner

Oliver hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. He was using his Legion Assistant to try and gain more information about what Ethan’s departure would mean for Red Line, head all full of worries. I could stop him anytime I want. Eventually I probably will. But for now? It’s just too cute! I mean, look at him.

 

Oliver West—Mike Linden [worn out]

Infernal Machine, train 33, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon Stamatis—Braden Lamb

4:44 PM. Approaching Andrew Station inbound.  To veer away from established plans is unconscionable to me, a fact that may frustrate my friends, but which never disappoints my employers.

 

Narrator

Just what are you looking for?

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, train 7, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

4:44 PM. Approaching Kendall Square outbound. Fuck your process. 

 

Narrator

Oh, my. We’re bound to get some juicy complaints on that one. 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, train 13, lead car. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

4:45 PM. Ashmont, Outbound. You can say no. Change here for trolley service to Mattpan. You can do something else.

 

Oliver

Blast it!

 

Narrator [laughing]

And just why are you so upset? Are you so desperate to be right that you’re betting on disaster? You exhausted little fool. 

 

Leon [tired]

Come on, Oliver. 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine. Customers saying “nope” right now—including Red Line drivers. Please let me hear them, one by one in quick succession. 

 

Infernal Machine—Bonnie Bogovitch

Processing. Red Line drivers are not customers. 

 

Oliver

Let me hear them anyway.

 

Infernal Machine

Processing. Subject “Brian Brown”.

 

Brian Brown—Ian DePriest

Nope. Sorry. Gotta study. 

 

Frankie—Sawyer Greene

Listen to you. Studying rather than heading to a party? You’ve changed, bro. 

 

Brian

Yeah. For all the good it’s doing me. 

 

Oliver

Next. 

 

Fat Stanley—Vinay Nariani

Yo. Johnson. Do you like hot dogs? Wanna go out and grab a hot dog with— 

 

Valiance Johnson—Jordan Cobb

Nope.

 

Fat Stanley

Uhh—my sister. My sister wanted to grab a hot dog with you. Totally not me. Never me. I hate hot dogs. 

 

Oliver

Next!

 

Infernal Machine

Processing. Subject “Ethan Bespin.”

 

Ethan Bespin—Jordan Higgs

—the dangerous memory being the one Stamatis terminated himself with, accompanied by his uttering of a single word—nope. 

 

Mayor—Rick Zieff

I see. What happens when someone isn’t present to defuse that particular memory?

 

Oliver

Infernal machine, record this. 

 

Ethan

The dam overloads and floods the valley with negatives. 

 

Mayor

And what does that do to the trains? 

 

Ethan

Not sure, actually, but the infused memories are connected across synthetic brains, which likely could manifest into a widespread system collapse. 

 

Mayor

Widespread…?

 

Ethan

Trains go nope, trains shut down, trains go crash, trains go boom. 

 

Mayor

How are you so sure the train we’re on is—

 

Ethan

The system became predictable after a while. The next one should be tonight heading to Braintree, 7pm. 

 

Mayor

Braintree. 7:00 PM. The start of the Yard Goats game. 

 

Ethan

Your words mean less to me than the lives cost to science. 

 

Mayor

No wonder Mr. N warned me about this job. But there are upsides to this, for sure. We can pin it on the terrorists. Nothing like a solid tragedy to secure our position. But what of your wife? Is she up to deal with the fallout?

 

Ethan

Emily will follow me if she knows what’s— 

 

Oliver

Infernal Machine, next!

 

Narrator

You can’t stop it, Oliver. It’s built into their tiny little brains. 

 

Cheesebot/Leon

Nope. [Pause.] Nope. [Pause.] Nope. Next stop, Alewife. Bus service. [Pause.] Nope. [Pause.] Last stop. Thank you for riding in Red Line. 

 

Narrator

It’s going to happen, and you’re just one little worm of a man.

 

Oliver 

Okay. Right. Well. Let’s see what I can do. I’m sure there’s… something.

 

[Oliver gets up to leave. Opens the door.]

 

Oliver

Oh!

 

Bernie—Josh Rubino

Oliver West? 

 

Oliver

Uh—nooooo. I am… Carrington Vander…built? Was it?

 

Bernie

Ri-i-ight. Anyhoo, I have a letter for you. Have a good one!

 

[Oliver takes the letter, rips it open.]

 

Oliver [reading]

Got you. Got you? That’s all it!

 

Louisa Alvarez—Julia Propp

GOT YOU!

 

Oliver

AHHH!